


Who Makes The Choice

by PythagoreanTeapot



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Discussion of Abortion, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It of Sorts, Miscarriage, Pregnancy, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-11-14 02:42:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 32,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18043910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PythagoreanTeapot/pseuds/PythagoreanTeapot
Summary: We make choices everyday. What shoes to wear, which book to read. Whether to take that job or sign up for that course.When to save the world. When to save yourself.Every choice has consequences, every decision has a price.And, too often, we pay the price for someone else's choice.





	1. Before it all falls apart

**Author's Note:**

> I have a lot of things to say about this story before we start, and some of them are IMPORTANT. So, please read this note before you get into the story.
> 
> First, and most important, this is NOT A FUN, LIGHT STORY. Seriously. Warnings for things like abortion/miscarriage/general emotional shit. You can probably read this first chapter without too much issue, but pay attention to the last line, because you might want to quit there. You definitely need to be in the right emotional space to read past that.
> 
> Now for the easier things.
> 
> This is an Infinity War fix-it... of sorts. I haven't seen Infinity War since the first time, and there may well be things I'm misremembering. Usually, I would obsessively re-watch things when writing around them to get everything right, but... I just don't want to with this one. I also haven't seen the trailer for the next one and have no idea how they're planning on resolving things. So there will be both spoilers and variations from canon. Just roll with it.
> 
> Finally, I experimented a little in this first chapter with trying to fit more story into fewer words. Essentially, I wanted to fit all of this back story into its most condensed form so that I could move onto the rest of the story. I'm not entirely sure about the results. I'd love to hear your thoughts on whether this ended up reading too much like a summary instead of a story.

They met in the quiet periphery of the chaotic aftermath.

There had been a battle in the air above Washington, a terrifying truth revealed, a horrifically destructive event. An evil plan was thwarted, and the heroes walked away more or less intact.

There’s a story that ends there, but it’s not this one.

Because the aftermath is where stories really start. The neighbours checking in on each other, the strangers offering help and support, the plans for change, for rebuilding, for making things better.

If your world falls apart in an instant, then it’s what comes next that matters far more than what led there.

 

Darcy had been blissfully unaware of any of the lead up. Jane had been very vocal about her distrust of SHIELD and all government agencies after they stole her research, and Darcy had firmly backed her position. They’d carefully navigated their way around signing any agreements or handing over any research.

When it became suddenly apparent to the rest of the world that shady government agencies were _shady_ , they’d immediately looked for impartial scientists and data analysts who could get a handle on exactly what kinds of weapons and technology and intelligence Hydra had accumulated during their masquerade as SHIELD.

Jane’s open disdain for SHIELD put her at the top of their list.

She hadn’t really been given a choice. They threatened Jane with treason charges if she didn’t help out, and Darcy wasn’t about to let Jane head into that alone, so they both packed their bags for a quick trip to Washington.

When Clint asked her to drop something off for him in a clandestine hand off, she’d thought it sounded fun. Plus, he’d upped the ante in their game of worst codeword to work seamlessly into a conversation, and she wasn’t about to let him think she couldn’t handle it.

It had been easy, really. She just mentioned to the guards who she happened to ask for directions that the hospital wings were more _pterodactyl_ sized than sparrow sized, and the door behind the guards had opened immediately to reveal a slightly unexpected sight.

Maybe it shouldn’t have been surprising. The thumb drive (which she palmed off to the guy who had just been on the news with _wings_ ) had come from an Avenger, after all, it shouldn’t have surprised her that it was intended for another Avenger.

But she had not been expecting to meet Captain America today.

She hadn’t tried to hide her surprise or her recognition. She’d stage whispered to ask if the guards were keeping them in or keeping others out and told them to blink twice if they needed rescuing. Apparently, they didn’t, because both men just laughed.

On her way back out again, mission completed, Darcy paused and spun back. With a _fuck-it_ shrug, she’d grabbed the charts at the end of the bed and jotted down her name and phone number. In case he needed rescuing, she winked.

There’s a story that ends there. The meet-cute with lovely potential, the implied happily ever after.

But that story would miss so much.

 

 

There was the accidental second meeting, once Steve was back on his feet and visiting the temporary base for the team digging into Hydra’s take over. He stumbled across her in a room full of various shouting people, where she alone seemed unconcerned. She was sitting in a corner, eating snacks and scrolling through something on her phone.

He hesitated for a moment, but he didn’t much want to try and break up the fight going on, so she was his best choice to find out what the problem was.

It sounded like a major problem.

She explained that the Project Insight satellites were still up there, and this group were arguing about what to do about the risk versus reward of leaving them in orbit. They could do a lot, sure, but on their own they weren’t weapons. Plus, it would be expensive and difficult to get them down so soon after they were sent up.

Steve frowned at her nonchalant attitude. It sounded to him like the others in the room were right to be concerned. But when he told her as much, she just shrugged.

“Nah, it was concerning 3 days ago when they started talking about it,” She agreed, “But it’s really not a problem that needed 3 days to solve.”

“But, aren’t you worried what they’ll decide?” He asked, confused.

Darcy shook her head, “Not since I hacked into the satellites two and a half days ago and set up my own kill switch. Those satellites could be really useful; but if these idiots try to use them to hurt more people, I’ll just turn them into space trash myself.”

She looked up at him with a grin, “The satellites, not the scientists. I haven’t yet figured out how to throw people into orbit on my own.”

 

The accidental meetings were followed by the intentional phone call, after a bad day when Steve just needed to hear a friendly voice, untainted by the things around him. The calls turned into coffee whenever they were in the same city, then travelling out of their way to be in the same city when they were in the same area, and, before they’d even realised what they’d started, they were planning international trips just to see each other.

They kept it to themselves for a while. At first, with the lightweight denial that there wasn’t anything to tell. Then, of course, the brief period when each realised they had different feelings and considered whether it was something they wanted to pursue, whether it was something that could be reciprocated.

That stage didn’t last very long, and after a sudden and intense conversation they agreed that they wanted to try being together. They knew it would be challenging, that it might never be the kind of relationship that might be considered normal, with both of them travelling all the time in conflicting directions. But it was worth it to try, because there was a chance it could be better than normal could ever be.

They still didn’t talk about it, though, for a few reasons. Darcy had seen what being the recognisable girlfriend to an Avenger had done to Jane’s life. The death threats, the paparazzi, the stupid questions that the media couldn’t seem to stop themselves from asking women. She didn’t need that in her life, and as long as she and Steve were happy, why would the world need to know anything about it?

Steve just didn’t want to face Natasha’s interrogation quite yet.

They never really planned to keep it _secret_ per se. They just wanted to keep it _quiet_. Darcy hadn’t bothered trying to hide it from Jane, though it took the astrophysicist a whole week of Steve staying with them to look up from her notes long enough to realise what was happening. They always assumed that someone else would find out eventually, but there was no reason to rush it.

They were both surprised when the Black Widow came to confront them, over a year after they started dating, to ask how long they thought they could keep it from her.

They both stared at her in surprise and then exchanged a confused look.

“I thought you figured it out months ago,” Steve admitted, “You stopped trying to set me up with people.”

Natasha gritted her teeth and glared. Later, after her irritation at failing to notice had eased, she admitted that she’d stopped trying to set him up because she’d accepted that he didn’t want her to. She’d wanted him to be happy, but if his version of happy didn’t include a relationship then she could accept that.

At that point, they knew it was only a matter of time before it became common knowledge, but they were comfortable with what they had, so they didn’t get around to telling anyone straight away.

When the Sokovia Accords were announced, Darcy could only be glad that they hadn’t gotten around to breaking the news.

She’d read the accords herself, had told Steve, during the very short conversation they’d managed between the accords being announced and the shit hitting the fan, that there were some very concerning things in there. Some of the clauses were vague in ways that could be disastrous, others specifically phrased to include things that no one should be comfortable agreeing to. She’d told him not to sign the accords in this state, that discussion was needed, points had to be negotiated.

Then the bombs had gone off and any chance of that disappeared.

She waited, phone turned up to its loudest, for news. She couldn’t bear to sit idly, so she started preparing for the worst. The accords had clearly been written to include people like Jane who had powerful tech or the minds to build them, and Darcy knew sooner or later someone would come calling, demanding that Jane sign away some of her basic rights.

If things went badly, she would make sure they were long gone before that happened.

Between checking her phone – taking calls from Eric and Ian, Jane’s mother (she didn’t bother trying to call Jane directly anymore), and Darcy’s cousin (who knew nothing about her connection to these things but just loved to talk about events like this when they happened) – Darcy packed stealthily. She and Jane chatted openly about all sorts of things, including the concerning events in Europe, as they took machines apart and then put them back together without the vital, irreplaceable pieces. These were stowed carefully in various bags and crates, ready to move at a moment’s notice.

Though she’d had her phone right next to her all day, ready to answer the second it rang, when the blocked number finally popped up on her screen, she froze. Hands trembling, she had to force herself to reach out and pick it up, swiping to answer.

“Hello?”

“Darcy Lewis?” The woman on the line sounded familiar, but Darcy couldn’t place it in the moment.

“Who is this?” She asked, frowning.

“Rhomboid.” The answer sent shivers down Darcy’s spine and her heart leapt into her throat.

 _Rhomboid_. Only one person could have given the woman on the phone that word. She and Steve had set up the code phrases years ago. He’d quizzed her repeatedly until she knew them all by heart.

Rhomboid meant run. Burn it all, don’t look back, don’t try to find him, don’t leave any clues for him to follow. Disappear.

“That bad, huh?” She asked quietly.

There was a sigh on the other end of the line, “Yeah, it’s that bad.”

The line cut off.

For a moment, Darcy stared at the phone in her hand, imagining a million different reasons that Steve might have for giving that instruction.

Then she pushed to her feet and went to follow it.

 

When the soldiers piled out of the SUV and stormed into the observatory the next morning, Jane Foster and Darcy Lewis, along with all of their research, were nowhere to be found.

A cliff-hanger might cut the story here, the star-crossed lovers forced apart with no way to find each other again.

But everyone knows that’s not an ending.

 

 

Steve stalked through the streets, eyes darting constantly, watching for anyone suspicious.

He probably shouldn’t have left. The building they were based in was secure, and since they were international fugitives now, non-extradition country or not, it wasn’t wise to be wandering.

But he needed to escape after the conversation with Natasha, needed to be moving. He hated being pent up, hated having to watch the streets so carefully.

Mostly, he hated that she was right.

He’d known it wasn’t a nice move when he’d kissed Sharon right before he’d whispered the one-word message for her to give to Natasha. He knew that Sharon had feelings for him, that she hoped they could be something more.

He hoped he would get the chance to apologise to her.

But, in the moment, he hadn’t been able to think of another way of passing the message. Much as he would trust Sharon with his life, and even Bucky’s, he couldn’t risk Darcy.

So few people know about Darcy; Natasha was the only one he could trust to deliver the message. And he’d known that when she got a one-word message that she didn’t understand, then she’d ask for more information, and when Natasha heard that he’d kissed Sharon, she would know exactly who the message was for.

He’d been right. She’d assured him that the message was delivered and that Darcy and Jane had both disappeared before anyone tried to wrangle them into the mess of the accords.

Then she’d berated him for treating Sharon that way.

After a minor tirade, she’d conceded that it was a good move from the covert operations side, she just hadn’t thought _he_ would treat his friends that way.

He didn’t like it either.

But Darcy was safe, probably, and that was worth it.

He’d still hold out for the chance to apologise to Sharon, though. Someday.

But, more than all the things he regretted about the past weeks, he regretted not having a way to reach Darcy. He’d made sure, when he told her to arrange clean identities for herself and Dr Foster, that no one associated with him or SHIELD would know what those identities were. No one could know how to track her if the worst came about. Including him.

It had seemed logical at the time, and a part of his brain still told him it was the right thing to do. No one had found any trace of Jane or Darcy because of those precautions. They’d turned up most all of the covers that the Avengers had put together, but they hadn’t found those two.

The most important thing was that they were safe. No matter how much he missed her.

He almost fell over when he caught sight of her.

At the first glance, he thought he was seeing things because his mind was on her. With the second glance he assured himself that it was just a lookalike. The third and fourth checks had concern and excitement growing in equal measure.

Pausing by a stand of sunglasses with a conveniently placed mirror gave him enough of a look to be sure, and the concern eclipsed everything else.

 She would be perfect bait in a trap for him, he knew. But that would mean she was caught in the trap already.

He put all of Natasha’s teachings to the test to make himself as unremarkable as possible while he circled the block. A roof across the street gave him a good vantage point to watch from, and he stayed for hours searching for other watchers.

He found none.

Keeping an eye out for anyone remotely suspicious, Steve made his way to a vendor across the street from the café that she’d been sitting at, reading calmly, for the hours he’d spent staking out the situation. He’d be right in her eyeline, he knew, and he stayed there just long enough to be sure she would have spotted him.

Turning without glancing back, he walked away, trusting that she would follow.

He led her on a slow, winding path through the town. They wandered, too many metres apart, through busy streets and narrow alleys. He moved into the crowded market, using the tight turns to keep an eye on the people around her.

There was no sign of anyone following either of them.

With all patience gone, Steve ducked into an empty market stall and waited.

The second her form appeared, passing the doorway, he reached out to drag her into the dark space.

“Darcy,” His voice was barely a whisper as he ran his hands over her hair, her cheeks and down her shoulder. He didn’t know if he was checking for injuries or tracking devices or both, but he felt like he needed to run his hands over her whole body to be sure she was here and real and safe, “Are you okay? How did you get here? Does anyone know you’re here?”

The smile she gave him was brilliant with joy and mischief and completely free of the fear or uncertainty he’d expected. She stepped into him and looped her arms around his neck, letting him continue to basically grope her in public.

“I’m amazing,” She told him with a wink, “That’s the answer to all of your questions.”

“Darcy,” Steve said her name again reverently, his wandering hands stopping to pull her in. He dropped his forehead down to hers. His voice broke as he felt the combined fear and relief at having her in his arms, “You’re here, I thought… It’s all so…”

“I know,” Darcy murmured sombrely when he failed to find the words, “I know, but I’m okay. And you’re okay. I know everything’s fucked right now, but we’re okay, so we can figure everything else out.”

Steve took a shuddering breath and pulled back to meet her gaze, raising a hand to brush his fingers over her cheek.

“You are amazing,” He agreed, leaning down again to kiss her gently, “I can’t even begin to tell you how glad I am that you’re here.”

Darcy laughed and the sound healed something inside of him that this war had broken.

“Considering what I had to do to get here,” Darcy shrugged, “I’m pretty sure I know how you’re feeling.”

“What did you have to do?” Steve frowned, his mind going immediately to all the worst possible options. What might she have given up for him?

“Relax, Steve,” She shook her head exasperated, “I stayed up ridiculously long hours doing math and I took four different flights with horrendous layovers. I’m just exhausted and I never want to see numbers again. But I don’t care. Because you’re here.”

“How did you find me?” He asked, still holding her close.

“I actually –” Darcy started and then frowned and glanced around, “I’m not sure if I should tell you here. I mean, I’m pretty sure no one followed me, and I’m more sure that you wouldn’t have risked pulling me in here at all if you weren’t _really_ sure no one followed either of us, but possibly this conversation would be better held somewhere more private than a market.”

They agreed to go to the backpackers she’d booked a room at, where there wouldn’t be exiled Avengers underfoot. They split up to take separate paths there, and Steve found himself anxious with worry the entire time she was out of his sight.

But she was waiting for him, safe and sound, when he arrived.

It had been half luck, she admitted once they were settled. After she and Jane had done their disappearing act, she’d hunkered down to try and find anything she could about what was happening. She’d gone straight to the Insight satellites, using the improved kill switch that she’d worked on over the years to make them look like they’d been fried, when in fact she’d just changed the way they sent and received signals so she alone could keep using them.

Combining the information from the Insight satellites, as well as a few others that she’d hacked into for Jane’s research here and there, and with a little help from Jane in re-writing Dr Banner’s system for tracking the tesseract, she managed to pinpoint certain energies on the planet.

One was right where she knew the Avengers’ compound was, but an echo of the same energy was in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

There was a third spot as well, but it was a little different and would be a question for another day.

At first, it had seemed like useless information, but a few days later that echoing signal had moved, followed shortly by the news that the rogue Avengers had escaped. She’d followed the traces that she assumed were Wanda to this place, and then simply waited.

The relief at finding each other wiped out all other concerns for a while, but the weight of their situation returned slowly.

Their lives and relationship had never been what others would call normal, and they knew they could face down this new challenge together. Even if it meant not really being together much. Others might struggle with long distance and keeping secrets, but they had built their entire relationship on that foundation. It would be annoying to have to push that to a new extreme, but they would create a new normal out of the chaos.

It took time, as the world settled down from the fallout of the Sokovia Accords and they each found their own place to stand. All thoughts of letting new people learn about the couple were abandoned.

They found normal again, though. In the high deserts of Bolivia, Darcy and Jane set up a permanent base in plain sight. With most grants now closed to them, they funded Jane’s work through crowd-funding and an astro-tourism scheme. It was amazing how much some people would pay to learn about the stars from Jane Foster.

Some tried to learn about other things, but Jane wasn’t interested in talking about it and Darcy just rolled her eyes.

Steve stayed with them when he could. Irregularly and never for long. Protected from recognition by a beard that he shaved before every mission, giant graphic t-shirts that Darcy and Jane bought in constant competition for the most esoteric references, a pair of Darcy’s old glasses that gave him a perpetual squint, and jeans that _almost_ managed to camouflage his rather incredible ass.

He worried someone would recognise him, but Darcy just laughed and told him no one was looking for Captain America here. The few people who might spot him anyway, she assured him, wouldn’t make it past her background checks.

There’s an ending at this point of precarious peace, but it’s not the ending for this story.

 

It was a few days after the newest tourists arrived that Darcy started acting off. She was avoiding him, choosing to spend most of her time around the visitors that she’d already described as pretentious asshats.

Worry grew in him as she continued to avoid him and deflected any questions about what might be wrong. His mind drifted to so many options. Perhaps she’d finally realised that he couldn’t be enough for her, that she deserved someone who could walk in the world with her openly.

She’d been his one stable point when everything else had been torn away. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing her.

“Grab your things,” Darcy appeared suddenly at his shoulder, breaking through his worries, “We need a holiday.”

Steve hesitated, needing to know more but not wanting to ask questions if they might send her back into her self-imposed isolation.

“Just go with it?” She begged, some dark desperation in her eyes, “Jane’s taking the tourists back to town for a supply run. While they’re gone, we can take the quinjet and find somewhere away from everything else for a few days. I’m thinking maybe a beach? Or possibly somewhere with trees. I love how vibrant this place is, but I do miss greenery.”

Steve nodded slowly. There would be time to talk properly if he followed her wishes.

They ended up on a small island off the coast of Chile. Too small for people to live on long term, there were traces of an abandoned campground where they set up their own tent and built the fire.

“Not yet.” Darcy replied when he tried to ask what was wrong. “We’re on holiday. No worries allowed on holiday.”

Instead, they swam in the ocean, napped in the shade, played games and talked about nothing, just existing together for hours. She told him over and over again that she loved him, that she was so grateful to be here with him.

Steve couldn’t help feeling like it was some kind of goodbye.

“I love this life we’ve made.” She told him quietly as they sat together by the fire on the second night, “I know it’s weird and unusual. So many people would say that it doesn’t make sense, but it works for us. We may not be together all the time, or even most of the time, but we love each other and trust each other no matter what. Even when you’re on some mission and we can’t talk to each other for months, we’re still a team.”

She sniffed, blinking back tears, and he reached out to brush away the few that escaped.

She met his eyes and spoke with raw, painful honesty, “It’s ridiculous and absurd, but the last few years as fugitives have been the best years of my life.”

Steve met her gaze, terrified by the pain and fear he saw looking back at him. “Sweetheart,” He whispered in a quiet, heart-breaking voice.

“I’m pregnant.”

Shock ran through him, and all words fled from his mind.

“I forgot.” She filled the silence as the truth that she’d held in for days burbled out of her, “My IUD expired and I had to get it removed, but they’re not easy to get out here so I couldn’t get it replaced. I’ve had one so long, I just forgot to worry about birth control until a few days after you got back.”

Steve looked at her, wringing her hands beside him, and felt a tiny, infinitely joyful smile sneak on to his face.

“You’re pregnant?” He asked, not trying to keep his happiness contained.

“Yeah,” She hiccupped and look up at him, faltering as she took in his smiling face, “Wait, are you happy?”

His joy stuttered and stopped as doubt flooded in. “Yeah… are you not happy?”

She took a deep breath, turning away from him.

Steve forced his mind to consider the alternatives. It was her body, her choice. He understood that. And she was right that they were a team; they could face any of this together.

If she didn’t want this, then that would be okay. As long as he had her.

“I… I’m terrified.” Darcy’s voice shook as she spoke to the starry sky instead of him. “This is big. This is life changing. And our lives work now. But I don’t know if I can do this alone.”

Steve started to speak but she stopped him, “I know I’m not alone. I know you’d never leave me over this, but you have things to do, a whole world to worry about. Right now, you spend about half your time here and I never know when it’s going to be and that’s always been fine, but I don’t think it would be fine with a baby.

“But you can’t just walk away from what you do,” She shook her head, “It’s so much a part of who you are, and you need that life. And Jane needs me here and I can’t walk away from that either. And we live in the middle of fucking nowhere in a country with less than ideal medical care, though at least it’s cheaper than home would have been. But this could be a super baby and how the hell am I meant to explain that to an obstetrician? If I can even find one in the middle of the desert.”

She dropped her head into her hands, every fear continuing to pour out of her, “And we’ve been keeping this all a secret because it would be dangerous for me to be the girlfriend of a super-hero, well how much more dangerous would it be for the child of one? This isn’t a good time for something like this. It just isn’t. We’ve talked about the someday when we’re not fugitives, and maybe we could handle it then, but now… This is a terrible time for something like this.”

Steve leaned forwards and wrapped his arms around her, his chest pressed up against her spine as she hunched in on herself. He rested his chin on her shoulder and sighed.

“You’re right,” He kissed her shoulder, nodding, “This isn’t a good time and there are a million possible problems. But, Darcy,” He leaned forward and pulled her chin around so he could meet her eye, “I feel like we can do anything if we’re together. You make me feel like we can handle anything. I love you, and I would love to have children with you. Yeah, things would have to change. But they’ve changed before and we’ve been fine. We would be fine. Hell, we would be amazing.”

He took a steadying breath and continued, “But if you don’t want to do this now, or ever, that’s okay too. I can fly you wherever we need to go to end it if you don’t want to be pregnant.”

Darcy froze, wide-eyed, and turned to look at him properly.

“You…” She shook her head in surprise, “You’d do that? Even though you want this, you’d help me get an abortion?”

“Of course,” Steve frowned, “Darcy, I do want this, and I’m glad you’re giving me a vote, but it’s not my choice. Because you’re right, this would be harder for you. You’re the one who would have to grow a whole human. Even if I shift things so I can spend as much time with you as possible, there are still going to be times when I have to just go, maybe without warning or knowing how long it will be. So it’s your choice. Whatever you want, I’m with you.”

Darcy lunged to throw her arms around him, crawling into his lap and kissing him with sudden, urgent need.

“I love you, Steve Rogers,” She breathed as she pulled back and met his eyes, “You are the best person I know, you know that?”

Steve smiled at her, this woman he loved more than he’d thought possible. His heart broke a little at losing the possibility of the child, but the woman in front of him was worth it. After all, she was here, now, fully formed and real.

Darcy gave him an understanding smile, like she could see exactly what he was feeling.

“And I do want to have your babies, Steve,” She continued, “Even this one.”

His breath caught as he met her gaze. He could only manage a whisper as he asked, “Are you sure?”

She grinned and nodded vehemently, “So very sure. Yeah, it’s going to suck at times, but we’ll do it together. Even when we’re a world apart. Just like everything else.”

He laughed and pulled her back into him, dragging her down for another kiss.

 

For the happy ending, a story would end here.

 

But this is not a happy story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SERIOUSLY ^^^^^^^^ I MEAN THAT LAST LINE.
> 
> If you don't have the emotional spoons to spare right now, please just stop here.
> 
> If you have the emotional fortitude to stick with me, what's coming is going to hurt. Don't be fooled by the early chapters, this story might tear your heart out. 
> 
> I want you to be prepared for that, because I'm really anxious about putting this out there. I have a lot of feelings about this story. A lot.
> 
> It is not a happy story.
> 
> But... I think... it might be a beautiful one?


	2. When life seemed simple

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not going to tag every chapter with content warnings, so if you continue from here, you're accepting all of them.
> 
> Look after yourself. Pay attention to the tags. Heed the warnings. Enter at your own risk.

“Ugh, nooo,” Darcy grumbled, turning her face into her pillow.

Steve picked his way quietly across the caravan to crouch beside the bed.

“Nightmares?” He asked gently, reaching out to brush the hair away from her face.

“No,” She glared angrily at him through the one eye not smushed into her pillow, “Your kid is going to kick through my uterus.”

Steve held back a laugh, sliding his hand down to her stomach to feel the subtle _thrum_ of motion inside. “You know Dr Kim said that was impossible.”

“And you believe her?” Darcy asked grumpily, “Just because she’s the foremost expert on pregnancies involving inherited genetic experimentation, you think she knows everything? This definitely goes beyond what’s normal for 19 weeks.”

“Well, it may not be quite normal,” He conceded, “But everything’s going to be okay.”

“You don’t know that.” She spoke quietly, morning grumpiness fading into general anxiety, “Dr Kim also said there was a higher risk of late term miscarriage or still birth or fatal birth defects.”

“And she said that everything looks good so far,” Steve reminded her, “And that kicking is a good sign.”

“That was weeks ago,” She slid her hand down to meet his where he rubbed small circles into her belly, “What if something’s changed?”

“That’s why we have another appointment next week,” He pointed out, “And the safe house up there will be ready by then so we can stay there if you want, where we can get to the doctor quickly if we need to.”

“That’s not the plan,” She reminded him, “Pretty sure the Canadian government still supports the Sokovia Accords, so we won’t be able to do the tourism thing. No income means no food, you know.”

“Darcy,” Steve frowned, exasperated, “I’m not going to let you starve. We have enough money to get through a while and if we need to stay there longer then we’ll deal with it. There’s this thing called _jobs_ where you do things and people give you money.”

Darcy wrinkled her nose at him but didn’t reply.

“Hey,” He leaned forward to catch her eyes, “Everything _is_ going to be fine, because we’ll face it all together.”

Darcy groaned into her pillow and shot him an annoyed smile, “Why do you have to be so logical? Can’t you tell I’m trying to have an irrational breakdown here?”

Steve smiled indulgently, “No, you’re right. The weeks we spent finding the best possible doctor were a waste of time. And the decades Dr Kim spent working with people in situations just like us are irrelevant. Why should we trust her when she says everything’s fine?”

“You forgot about the year she spent in prison for refusing to tell the US government where to find that lady who escaped from one of their experiments.” Darcy added. With a sigh, she pushed herself up, “And the sprog has found my bladder.”

Steve shifted out of the way to let her stand and move over to the small bathroom in the camper.

Moving over to the closet, he started getting dressed for the day, layering on the baggy costume that he wore when tourists were around.

He was pulling on the last, bright t-shirt as Darcy exited the bathroom.

“Steven Universe.” She prodded his chest lightly, “Good choice.”

He smiled, catching her hand to pull her into a long hug.

“Feeling better?” He asked, melting into the feeling of holding her in his arms.

She sighed contentedly into his shoulder, “Yeah, just the usual morning existential dread.”

“You sure?” He asked, “Because we can fly up to Winnipeg today. You know Dr Kim would make time for you at a moment’s notice.”

Darcy snorted, “Yeah, she’s pretty excited about the science of a serum baby. No, I know there’s no actual reason to be worried. Just hard to remember that when I’m sleepy.”

“Really?” Steve asked in mock surprise, “I hadn’t noticed.”

“Oh, shut up.” She smiled as she turned her face up to look at him.

“Hey!” They both winced as someone banged on the outside of their caravan, “I thought breakfast was included. I’m paying enough!”

“I am going to murder that guy.” Darcy whispered sincerely.

Steve sighed, easing back from the embrace, “He’s not that bad.”

“Not that bad?” Darcy stared at him in shock, “I thought you’d be on my side here? Aren’t you pissed at the _flirting_ , if nothing else?”

Steve shot her an apologetic smile, “Only because I’m concerned you’re going to murder him if he doesn’t stop. I thought you were trying to avoid getting guys like him.”

“I am!” Darcy argued, “I _doubled_ the seems-like-an-asshole fee. He didn’t even blink. I am not being paid enough to put up with his pretentious, misogynistic, bullshit.”

“Just breathe,” Steve rubbed her arms, “And remember that murder is generally bad.”

He reached over to grab the old pair of glasses that he wore to help his disguise, sliding them on and turning back to face her.

“I’ll take care of breakfast, so just take your time and don’t come out until you’ve got your homicidal tendencies under control.”

“Ugh,” She wrinkled her nose in disappointment, “You’re disgustingly adorable. You know your Clark Kent look is really working for me. Sure you want to leave me alone in here?”

“ _Want_?” He asked with a shrug, “Not remotely. But we both know that guy’s likely to keep coming back. Better to distract him with food now.”

He took a step towards the door and then paused to turn back.

“What’s his name again?”

Darcy shrugged with a smirk, “I don’t know. I’m practicing my selective memory skills; I hear they’re really useful for a parent. He told me his name three times yesterday and I’ve chosen not to remember. It’s the little victories that keep me from murder.”

“You’re a terrifying mastermind,” Steve laughed.

She watched him leave and turned back to look at the bed. Maybe she could get another hour’s sleep.

But he was probably right, their latest tourist (possibly Harold?) would likely be even worse if they ignored him.

“Fine, we’ll get dressed,” She sighed, glancing down at the soft curve of her stomach, “But you better keep those feet of yours in check today, buddy.”

\--

Steve kept his eye on Darcy while he helped Jane reposition some of the heavier equipment.

He’d been doing his best to run interference between Darcy and their tourist today, but the man kept making excuses to bow out of the tasks Steve handed him to go pester Darcy instead.

So far, her patience had lasted, but he was watching for signs that she needed an escape.

He saw her stiffen, straighten to alert, and he was already moving to put down the device he was holding before her voice rang out across the campsite.

“Steve!” She called, an edge of fear in her voice that had him hurrying over as much as her use of his real name.

“Who the hell is Steve?” Definitely-Not-Harold asked in confusion as Steve and Jane both rushed over.

“It’s New York,” Darcy explained, ignoring the question. “Looks like some kind of alien attack. I see Iron Man, and that douchey wizard guy I told you about.”

“Wizard?” Steve asked with a frown, leaning over to stare at the screen over her shoulder.

“Yeah. Stephen Strange.” Darcy reminded him, “Jane and I tracked him down last year and made him open portals all over the place while we took readings. He’s a pretentious asshat who thinks he’s amazing just because he can do… actual magic.”

“It’s not magic,” Jane corrected, “It’s –”

“Not the time, Janey,” Darcy cut her off.

Steve ducked to the side, sliding open a panel on the side of one of the more complex pieces of equipment. Beneath the panel, a number pad was revealed and he quickly typed in the 8 digit code to open the safe. He palmed one of the devices inside and flipped open the phone, dialling a number quickly.

“I take it you’ve seen the news?” Natasha answered immediately.

“Yeah. Where are you?” He asked, eyes tracking the action on the screen. It was clearly coming from numerous cellphone cameras, people in the area live streaming despite the danger.

“Sam and I are in Iceland.” She answered with irritation. “Like we were _all_ meant to be right now.”

“Wanda?” He asked stepping away toward the edge of the camp that they’d roped off with danger signs.

“She’s been out of contact for a few days. Not uncommon, she seems to have picked up that bad habit from someone.” The answer was pointed and accusatory.

“You know where I am.” Steve responded, pressing a button on the small device he removed from the safe.

As the cloaking dropped away and the quinjet appeared ahead of him, he heard Maybe-Leonard shout in surprise behind him.

“You said that area wasn’t safe!” He yelled, “Some kind of radiation!”

“We lied.” Darcy answered, distracted, before raising her voice to call after him, “Also Spider-Man.”

“How fast can you get there if you find your own ride?” Steve asked Natasha, striding up the ramp into the jet. He switched the power from standby, which pulled power from the solar panels, to start up the main engines for pre-flight checks. A push of a button had his suit sliding out of the wall.

“At least 4 hours” She answered resigned.

“Shit.” Steve swore, “I can get there in 2. We’ll just have to hope they can hold it off that long. Get there as soon as you can.”

He hung up before she could respond, well aware that she would make him regret it later.

He was pulling on his boots when Darcy call out to him again. Snatching up his gloves and cowl, he jogged down the ramp. A corner of his mind made note of the way Could-Be-Carlos stared in slack-jawed shock at the sight.

“They’re leaving.” Darcy told him as soon as he drew near. “Already out of sight of all the cameras. Give me a minute to access the closest satellites.”

“How bad’s the damage?” Steve asked.

“Unclear,” Darcy answer quickly typing furiously, “Doesn’t look that bad all things considered. Yep,” She gestured to another screen showing readings he didn’t understand, “The ship is moving away from Earth. It’s fast, too, already beyond range for decent readings.”

“Any word on casualties?” He asked, “Or what they want?”

Darcy shook her head. “Hopefully someone official will make an announcement soon.”

The phone in Steve’s hand rang and he looked down to see a number he knew by heart though he’d never dialled it.

“Is that?” Darcy asked looking up him.

He nodded and flipped the phone open. “Tony?”

“Tony is gone.” The answer came quickly strained with worry, “He was on that ship when it left.”

“Bruce?” Steve asked, in complete shock, “We thought you were… gone.”

“Yeah. Long story. Not a happy ending.” He replied distractedly, “No time for it right now. Tony said you might know how to find Vision.”

Steve met Darcy’s eye and asked carefully, “Why would I need to find Vision?”

She nodded quickly and turned back to the computer, fingers flying over the keyboard.

“The people on the ship,” Bruce explained, “They work for a guy named Thanos. They came to New York for this magician guy.”

“Stephen Strange.” Steve nodded.

“You know him?” Bruce seemed surprised.

“Mutual friend.” Steve focussed back on the point, “What does that have to do with Vision?”

“Strange has one of the Infinity Stones. The Time Stone. Thanos is trying to find all six. He took the Space Stone from the tesseract and he already had the Power Stone. I don’t know where the other two are, but they will be back for the Mind Stone.”

“Vision.” Steve guessed.

“Right.” Bruce spoke faster, fear rising. “And Steve, Thanos is bad news. He wiped out most of the Asgardians without breaking a sweat. He took down the Hulk. He killed Loki like he was nothing. This is End-of-the-World levels of bad news.”

Darcy glanced at him sharply mouthing _Loki_ with a questioning frown. Steve shrugged, no answers to offer.

“Do you know why he wants the Stones?” Steve asked.

“I didn’t catch that part of his plan,” Bruce admitted, “But we’ve seen the damage people can do with just one of these things. And Thanos is willing to commit genocide to get them. I don’t want to know what he would do with all six.”

“Then we’ll stop that from happening.” Steve agreed firmly.

Bruce swore, “A whole bunch of army guys are here. Also War Machine.”

“We’ll take care of Vision.” Steve promised, “I’ll make contact once he’s safe.”

“Right. Good.” Bruce’s voice became quieter as the phone moved further away. “They’re all pointing guns at me now so I’m going to hang up.”

The call cut off and Steve looked at Darcy, regret in his eyes.

“I have to –”

“I know.” She nodded, glancing up to smile tightly at him before turning back to a computer. She hit a button and then turned the monitor to face him. “Scotland. Go.”

“This phone is compromised.” He told her apologetically.

“You know my number.” She answered easily.

He sighed and leaned down to pull her into a quick, burning kiss.

“I love you.” He murmured as he pulled back.

“Go save the world.” She whispered, blinking back tears. “And then come home.”

With a last nod, he broke away, scooping up his gloves as he jogged back to the quinjet.

He flipped open the phone as he checked the engines and prepared to take off. He had one last call to make before ditching the phone.

She answered on the third ring.

“Change of plans.” He told her.


	3. Problems could be solved

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again! I don't want to get your hopes up that you can expect a chapter every day. This story is completely written, and I kind of want to just get it all out as fast as possible, but the posting will be life dependent. Basically, you can expect a chapter everyday that I have time to post one (so probably not tomorrow). It'll be slightly unpredictable, but I'm planning to get the whole thing up within a couple of weeks regardless.

“That was Captain freaking America!”

Darcy rolled her eyes. “We know. You can stop saying it.”

“Dammit, NASA is using this satellite all wrong.” Jane glared at her computer screen. “It’s like they don’t even know it can be recalibrated to pick up microwaves. It will take 10 minutes!”

“Ah, let me check who’s in their command centre,” Darcy swivelled her chair to a different computer – there were four set up here, mostly cobbled together from spare parts. Jane was excellent at making things work with the bare minimum. “If one of the people who think I work there are in, I should be able to get it changed.”

“People think you work for NASA?” Possibly-Ronald asked, shocked. “ _People in NASA_ think you work for NASA?”

“And you thought Captain America was some backpacker named Jeff.” She pointed out, “People believe all sorts of things. “

“I didn’t really –” Maybe-Maurice began.

“You did.” Darcy interrupted. “You know it, we know it, we don’t like you enough to pretend that we don’t know it.”

“But… that was Captain America!”

Darcy sighed but ignored the bait this time. “OK, I’ve dropped the hint. As long as they’re paying attention and they run it up the bureaucracy quickly, that satellite should be recalibrated in about half an hour.”

“And how do you have access to NASA satellites anyway?” He asked affronted, “That’s got to be illegal.”

“Dude,” Darcy sighed, “That was Captain America, an international fugitive. Clearly, we run on slightly different rules than the US government advocates. FYI, our rules are better.”

“How can you even say that?!” He was edging into apoplectic.

“God, would you shut up?!” Darcy spun to face him, all patience gone, “Remember yesterday when you were blathering on about how great you’d have been if you had been in London? How much you wished you were there for Dark Elves and the end of the world? Well, guess what? Those weren’t exactly legally-sanctioned heroics either.

“And now you’re here, right at the start of the next big fight. So, are you going to shut up and make yourself useful and prove you can be as helpful and as you claimed, or are you going to shut up and make yourself scarce, so you don’t get in our way?”

She stared him down for a full minute, until he meekly sat down and turned to one of the computers.

“Right.” Darcy sat down as well, turning calmly back to Jane. “So, Jane, what information are we looking for?”

\--

Darcy clicked blearily through news reports and Twitter feeds. She hit refresh again on the email account Steve had sent a short, vague update to and tried to remember if there were any other places he might leave a message for her.

The periodic kicking in her belly was comforting now, though that was probably only because she wasn’t even trying to sleep.

“What are you still doing up?” Darcy glanced over as Jane wandered into the Tech Tent. Or was it the Machinery Marquee? Darcy couldn’t remember what they’d settled on.

Instead of answering, Darcy gestured vaguely at the universe, knowing that she was broadcasting enough fear and anxiety that Jane would get the message.

Jane sighed and made her way around the machines to the storage crates by the opposite wall. She came back laden with more pillows, blankets and snacks then she really should have been able to hold at once.

“You should sleep,” Jane nagged her, “You’re sleeping for two now.”

Darcy laughed, “As concerning as it is to be getting sleep advice from you of all people, I’m also worrying for two now. So, I don’t think sleep is going to happen.”

“I figured.” Jane set to burying Darcy in blankets, arranging snacks around her. “But you don’t have to sit in the dark staring morosely at the same news pages over and over again. There will be snacks and regular movement and position changing. And there will be purpose.”

“Purpose?” Darcy asked, fighting to free her hands from the messy cocoon of blankets.

“I have an idea.” Jane announced excitedly. “We didn’t get enough data when the second attack came and went in Edinburgh. It helped, recalibrating that one satellite to pick up a bigger range of electromagnetic frequencies, but that still just one satellite.”

“What are you suggesting?” Darcy asked cautiously, experienced with some of the less pleasant outcomes of Jane’s ideas.

“We’ve hacked the majority of satellites up there at one time or another, it’s been my biggest source of data since we lost legal access to telescopes. If we had all of them at once, and recalibrated where necessary, we could get full spectrum planet wide readings as they occur.”

Darcy paused, considering. “That’s ambitious.”

“It’ll probably take all night.” Jane agreed with a grin.

“It’s ridiculous that you think that’s a good thing.” Darcy shook her head with a smile, “And it’s depressing that I actually agree with you.”

\--

Darcy shifted slowly, easing back into wakefulness. Blinking her eyes open, she looked around the tent.

She was curled on the floor, half under a desk, surrounded by the blankets Jane had piled her with last night. She vaguely recalled sliding to the ground with one of the laptops when her back couldn’t handle the chairs anymore.

The light in the tent was still the pale glow of dawn, so she hadn’t slept for long. Still, it was a surprise to realise she’d managed to sleep at all.

Pushing herself up slightly, she peered over the edge of the desk. Across from her, Jane was still working furiously, alternating between glaring at the computer screens and scribbling on various bits of paper.

“You know you need sleep, too,” Darcy told her, still groggy.

“We’re so close.” Jane didn’t look up as she spoke, continuing to type and write rapidly. “There’s a couple other changes I need you to make when you’re awake, and I’m sure there’s a way to cover this gap we still have.”

“Okay,” Darcy shoved herself to her feet with a groan, “Ugh, remind me not to sleep on the floor again. I need to pee, and change into something I didn’t sleep in, and eat an actual meal. Then you can boss me around, okay boss-lady?”

“Yes, fine,” Jane waved her off distractedly.

Darcy shrugged at her friend’s completely expected reaction. Jane high on science was a very familiar sight.

After taking care of all required bodily functions, Darcy returned feeling somewhat more human. She let Jane direct her on which satellites to work on next and what changes they needed to make.

“This is way too much data, Jane.” Darcy pointed out, watching the information pouring through her computer screen from the latest satellite she’d added into the mix, “Much as I love our DIY systems, they’re just not capable of recording this much information all at once.”

“We need this!” Jane yelled in frustration, clearly well aware of the problem, “All these different governments and organisations keep working against each other. We could be the only people on the planet with a clear view of what’s actually going on.”

“But we won’t have a clear view if we can’t keep track of everything at once. And we just don’t have the capacity here.” Darcy argued.

Jane shot a glare at her, “I take it you have a suggestion.”

Darcy nodded slowly, wincing slightly as she knew what Jane’s reaction would be. “Stark’s AI.”

Jane stopped, actually stopped, hands falling motionless over the keyboard as she turned to look Darcy head on.

“No.” Jane said firmly, “You know how I feel about letting any of those organisations get access to my work.”

“I know,” Darcy agreed, “But we can’t do this alone, and, frankly, I think FRIDAY is the lesser of the possible evils here. I’m sure SHIELD would have the tech to deal with this if you’d rather call them.”

Jane stared at her, angry but silent, for several minutes. The various options ticked through her brain, each one worse than the last.

“I thought your agreement with Stark’s AI only gave you limited access to his satellites.” Jane grudgingly considered the idea, “Could you even get her to help with this?”

Darcy shrugged, “Probably. The stakes are pretty high here, it’s not the hardest sell.”

Jane looked away, trying again to find any more appealing alternative.

“Fine,” She sighed, resigned, “But she better understand that all of this is _my_ work. Stark doesn’t get to use it without my permission.”

\--

They were ready before it started. Every satellite they could access was pouring in data which was compiled and converted by Jane’s math and Darcy’s code and FRIDAY’s processing power and then overlaid onto maps in a form they could understand.

Testing had included tracking Vision and Wanda as they moved around, likely within a single building. They’d also managed to pinpoint every hospital on the planet currently using Stereotactic Radiation Therapy. They were so caught up in trying new things to see what the system they’d built was capable of that they almost missed the first signs of the incoming ships.

But the screens were quickly overrun with them.

From this view, the battle was almost beautiful. Just light and numbers and motion. Darcy kept the unique signals of Wanda and Vision as focus points in the chaos, and slowly other things started to fall into place.

The Wakandan weapons all released the same kind of energy, which gave structure to the fight. Lines of shields and soldiers provided a framework that everything else flowed around.

The enemy hordes were less consistent, several different, unfamiliar, energy signals all overlapped together, pushing against the defenders.

She could see the fractures appearing in the fortifications.

“That’s the Bifrost!” Jane shouted suddenly as a wave of powerful energy appeared in the middle of the action. “Play it back. That was definitely some smaller cousin of the Bifrost.”

Darcy isolated the centre point of the energy surge and pulled up the data from the moment on one of the screens, while another screen continued to show things in real time.

“The pattern is exactly the same,” Jane murmured, staring intently at the numbers and seeing things Darcy would never be able to see, “But it’s more condensed, and it looks like whatever is powering it came through with it. A portable Bifrost?”

“Do you think it’s Thor?” Darcy asked.

Jane didn’t answer, but Darcy could see the worry on her face, the uncertainty. Was it better to hope it was Thor, because that would mean he was still alive, or that it wasn’t, because his chances of staying alive were probably better anywhere else?

Darcy turned back to the main screen, letting her eyes drift out of focus slightly as the lights and colours flowed. She wasn’t like Jane. She couldn’t understand the numbers, couldn’t read each energy signal. Instead, she watched for patterns and similarities.

“What…” Possibly-Harold was huddled beside them, all bravado gone, “What does it mean?”

Darcy stared for a while, letting the information wash over her, the ebb and flow.

“They’re losing.” She whispered.

“These energy readings are incredible,” Jane glanced from screen to screen, mesmerised, “It will take months to sort through all of this data fully, maybe even years. This is the first alien invasion that’s been fully captured. I wish we had visual to line these things up with.”

“We’ll have to get the stories,” Darcy’s voice was thick with fear, “If anyone survives it.”

“They’ll make it.” Jane turned to glare at her fiercely, “Hey, he’ll make it. He always has before.”

“There’s always a first time.” Darcy whispered, unable to look away from the streaming information that almost painted a picture of the fight. She wished Steve had some other sort of power, something she could see in these numbers.

But there was nothing for the satellites to pick up from him. She wouldn’t know if he was alive until it was all over.

“What the hell was that?” Perhaps-Paul asked, pointing at a spike in the data.

Jane spun back and started typing at her keyboard, isolating the information.

“That’s a portal.” She started typing faster, excited, “Darcy, that’s a portal! A stable doorway from one point in the universe to another, held open for… seconds at least.”

“Like the Bifrost?” Darcy asked, trying to force her brain into that train of thought, any other train of thought.

“No,” Jane scanned the numbers, “The Bifrost is different, it’s not as direct, it’s… well, they call it a bridge, right? It connects two points, but there’s a gap that’s not either in between. This is a doorway. The other side is _right there_.”

“Is that good or bad?” Darcy asked.

“Both? Neither?” Jane started typing furiously, picking up her pencil to scribble notes at the same time. “There’s more data for one thing. That portal was open long enough… I should be able to work out where exactly it came from.”

Darcy didn’t bother asking any more questions, recognising the distracted tone in Jane’s voice that meant she was no longer aware of anything other than the science.

She went back to watching the shape of the battle in the energy spikes and plateaus.

There was something new on the field now. Something big, heavy. It warped the energy signals of everything around it, and for a moment Darcy was mystified by it.

Then she realised what the energy signals most resembled.

Infinity Stones.

Multiple Infinity Stones.

All in the same place.

She’d picked up enough of what Bruce had said to Steve when he called. She knew who had to be holding them.

Darcy felt a tremble run through her and everything dropped into intense focus as adrenaline rushed her system. She could hear Jane muttering numbers to herself, could feel the grains of sand on the breeze that snuck through the tent opening, could feel the sweat beading on her own forehead.

The numbers shifted and changed, and she knew they were people – fighting and dying. People she loved and people she’d never met.

She saw the familiar energy of Vision and Wanda move through the rest. She’d watched them so many times over the years, kept their energy signals as touchstones when Steve was off on missions to the unknown.

The echoing energy that marked Wanda flared, intensified. The two powers reflecting each other, resonating.

And then one was gone.

Darcy let out a small sob, realisation lancing through her.

But then another energy gathered, a smoother, gentler crescendo, and the energy of the Mind Stone reappeared again.

“Got it!” Jane shouted and Darcy turned to look at her, tears blurring her friends face. “I know where that portal came from!”

“How does that help us?” Darcy asked, desperate for something, anything to hold onto.

“I…” Jane hesitated, “This is important… for science…” She trailed off, refocussing on the main battle herself. She swallowed.

“It’s important,” Darcy caught Jane’s eye, determined to give Jane hope where she had none herself. “It might not be useful right now, but it will be. When they win. This could change the world, right?”

Jane stared at her, lost for a moment, but she seemed to see that Darcy needed Jane to believe it, because Darcy didn’t anymore. “Right… Darcy…”

Jane frowned, glancing down at her own hands. “Darcy…?”

She raised her arms, and Darcy saw the way her hands were shifting, breaking down, drifting away.

“Jane?” Darcy shoved to her feet, trying to get around the desks and machines to reach her friend. “What’s happening? Jane!”

“What is this? Stop it!” Darcy turned to see the tourist whose name she still couldn’t remember falling apart as well.

“No!” She yelled, spinning back to Jane only to see her disappear completely. “No, Janey! Come back! What happened? I can’t fix this without you.”

Her breath was coming faster, panic setting in with a vengeance. On stumbling feet, she skirted back around the desk, fumbling for the button to switch on the verbal interface.

“FRIDAY?” Darcy asked, terror threading through her voice.

“Miss Lewis,” FRIDAY’s response was quick, the even, calming tone of the AI sent overwhelming relief flooding through Darcy and she dropped into her chair. She wasn’t alone. “It appears that people all over the world are disappearing. It is difficult to determine the source or scale, but the phenomenon is incredibly widespread.”

“How widespread?” Darcy croaked, her throat as dry as the world around her.

“It appears to be occurring in every part of the world where people are currently broadcasting information.”

“Do you know how many?” Darcy asked, voice breaking at the thought of what this could mean, “Is this going to happen to everyone?”

“I am uncertain at this time.” FRIDAY’s response came across uncertain, laced with a trace of fear. As much fear as the AI was capable of feeling.

Darcy straightened in her chair, suddenly determined. She had nothing else left, but she could at least find out what had happened.

“Bring up the readings from just before this started, planet wide.” She instructed and the screen in front of her shifted to a floating image of the earth, lit with energy. “Limit it to temperature readings worldwide. Based on general estimates, can you take away heat that would come from power sources, cars, fires, the planet itself. Just show me your best guess for heat that would come from people.”

FRIDAY was silent for a moment, processing the request, “I would need considerably more information to provide an accurate estimate, but, with generous error bars, I believe this would be the approximate answer.”

The globe on the screen shifted to have hot spots and cold spots.

“Assuming the background levels remained constant, show the same readings as the people started vanishing,” Darcy ordered.

The image started to shift, change. The hot spots paled, and the cold spots grew. After a moment, the changes stopped, the image returning to constant.

“Can you estimate what proportion of people that is?” Darcy asked in a whisper.

“There are several uncertain variables involved,” FRIDAY advised, “But the number lost is likely to be between 43 and 61 percent of the population of the planet and appears to be evenly spread over all geographical areas.”

“Holy shit, it’s half the planet.” Darcy was glad she was sitting down, certain she would have fallen. A sudden thought shot through her and she jolted, her hands leaping to her stomach. She almost toppled her chair in her haste, and for a moment, all she could feel was her own hammering heartbeat overwhelming anything else.

Then the gentle nudge to her hand had her sobbing in fear and relief.

She cried for a while. She didn’t know what else to do.

But as the tears ran dry, and the sobs eased, she knew she had to do something. She was alone, and pregnant, in the middle of the desert. She could get in the car and drive to town; likely there would be someone left there; but she couldn’t bear the thought of leaving. It felt like that would be leaving Jane.

Instead, she dragged her chair closer to the computer.

“FRIDAY, replay the battle again.” Darcy watched as the motions played out in front of her, the flashes of fight, the arrival of the Bifrost, the portal, the death and re-birth of Vision, and then a strange surge of energy right before FRIDAY noted that people stared to vanish.

That last flare of energy was different from anything else. It was like it wasn’t coming from the battlefield at all, like it was everywhere all at once. Every satellite and telescope she’d hacked was showing exactly the same thing at exactly the same time, undiluted by travelling through space or time. It was huge, but somehow also almost unnoticeable.

And that was when people started dying.

Except… not _dying_.

The numbers were wrong somehow. These people turned to dust, Darcy couldn’t wipe the memory of it from her mind. That should be death, it had to be death.

But it wasn’t destruction. The energy levels didn’t make sense. Destruction should make things lower in energy, she was sure. That was basic thermodynamics, one of the few rules Jane had drummed in to her head. The universe wants lower enthalpy and higher entropy.

But this was backwards.

Darcy wasn’t the science person, but she’d formatted enough energy graphs for Jane to know how they were meant to look, and this just wasn’t right.

“FRIDAY,” Darcy stared at the screen, cold determination shoving everything else out of the way, “Play it again.”


	4. Hope within reach

Steve sat, frozen on the ground, still staring at Vision’s body. The same words repeated in his head. _Oh god, oh god, oh god._

Bucky had disappeared, fallen to dust, right in front of him. And he hadn’t been able to do a thing. After everything they’d been through, with Bucky so close to functional, sometimes even happy.

Now he was gone.

Just like that.

The Captain part of his brain took over then. Focus on the people you can save. He started giving orders, not entirely sure what he was saying, but hoping it was right. Send for medics. Gather survivors. Maintain defences to hold back surviving enemies.

The battle was still going in places and even though they’d already lost the war they couldn’t stop yet.

Except the forces were leaving. The remaining generals of Thanos’ army were corralling their troops, heading back to their ships.

They’d won. No need to stay any longer.

When the last ship took off, Steve dropped to his knees.

Bucky. Sam. Wanda. Vision. T’Challa.

So many.

Too many.

And the name he couldn’t even bring himself to think now. Not here, with no way to find out.

Thor found him there. He pulled him to his feet and gave Steve a look of despair to equal his own. He reminded Steve that there were things that needed to be done now. The battle was lost, but there were survivors, injured, so many who still needed their help.

It was the only thing they had left to offer.

Steve tried, he did, but he couldn’t think anymore. A deep numbness was settling over him and he couldn’t find any single thing that made sense. Distantly, he saw Thor nodding in understanding, then he took Steve’s arm and began leading him away.

Others appeared around them as they made their way back to the city. Natasha drifted to Steve’s side, gravitating closer than she usually would. He could sense the weight of their failure on her as well.

It could be that all they had left was each other.

None of them spoke as they moved through the heavy air, the echoing cries of grief and disbelief. They didn’t need to speak to know what everyone was thinking.

About all the people who weren’t on this battlefield. About all the people they’d failed.

When they reached the city, they found Shuri presiding over the wreckage. Tears fell down her face and she had to stop frequently to wipe them away or take shuddering breaths, but she wasn’t letting them stop her moving forwards. She gave orders for recovery and medical teams to search out survivors, engineering teams to assess and make safe all damaged buildings and infrastructure, advisors to start calling other world leaders to talk about how the world could keep working.

The sight seemed to draw Natasha out of her shock. Her spine straightened as she visibly pulled herself together and dropped the mask of professionalism over her face.

Steve just felt worse. This was his fault. He’d done this. He’d failed and now a teenage girl in mourning had to lead a devastated country.

Natasha shot him an assessing look and then marched over to a nearby assistant and commandeered their phone.

She came back and held it out to him.

“Call her.” She ordered.

Steve looked at her, desperately hopeful and terrified by the idea. How could he keep standing if she was gone? If _they_ were gone. He hadn’t quite lost everything, not yet. Not until he picked up that phone and called.

Instead he cleared his throat and spoke, “Don’t you want to call him?”

Natasha let her mask slip so he could see just how broken her heart was when she answered, “With a family of five, it’s not a question of if. 100% guaranteed that someone’s gone. It’s only a question of who, and I’m not ready to know that yet. But you’ve got a 50/50 chance and putting it off isn’t going to help.”

Steve closed his eyes for a moment before taking the phone and stepping away to a relatively quiet corner. He watched for a moment as Natasha turned back to the others, offered some vague explanation that had them nodding in understanding and turning away.

He looked down at the phone and dialled the number he knew by heart. It took a while to connect, the silence making his heart clench tighter and tighter.

Then it rang.

And rang again.

A shot of agonising fear ran through him at the third ring. Surely, if she was there, she’d have the phone right with her, she’d –

“Steve?” Her voice came through cracked and trembling, but it was still the most beautiful thing he’d ever heard.  In a sudden rush, he could breathe again.

“I’m here,” He took a shuddering breath, “I’m here. Are you…?”

There was no word to follow that. Alive? Clearly. Okay? Of course not.

“Jane’s gone.” Darcy stated, almost managing to sound matter-of-fact, “What’s-his-shouty-face, too. Now I feel bad about not knowing his name.”

“Sweetheart,” Steve’s voice broke as he pictured her, alone in the middle of the desert, her best friend disappearing in front of her eyes, trying to hold it together for him, “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. We lost. And we lost everything. This is all my fault.” Tears fell freely down his face at his confession.

“Bullshit,” Darcy said with certainty, “You do not get to wallow in survivor’s guilt here. This is Thanos’ fault, and you did every bloody thing in your power to stop him. That makes it the opposite of your fault.”

“So many people, Darcy,”

“I know,” Darcy whispered, “Half the planet, I know.”

“It’s not just Earth,” Steve told her, “It’s the whole universe. Half the people in the _universe_ are gone because we failed.”

“I think it’s reversible.” Darcy let out in a rush.

Steve felt his whole body freeze.

“What?” He breathed.

“We hacked every satellite in the sky and recorded the energy outputs during the whole battle. And these readings… Steve, I think it’s reversible.”

“Are you sure?” He asked, his voice was still quiet, but less tremulous as he suddenly felt like there was something solid beneath his feet.

“No,” Darcy let out a sound between a sob and a laugh, “I’m not the science person. I make the graphs look nice, but it’s not my job to figure out what they mean. But from what I can see, from what I understand, it looks like it should, theoretically, be reversible. FRIDAY agrees. But Steve, turning a theoretical option into a usable solution is way beyond my skill set.”

“Okay,” Steve felt his shoulders pull back as he refocussed on this mission, “What do you need?”

“Science people,” Darcy answered promptly, “Erik Selvig, if he’s around, since he gets Jane’s work better than anyone. If he’s gone… I don’t know, other science people. Did Banner make it? He’s got, like a million PhDs, right?”

“Yeah,” Steve turned to glance at Bruce across the room in quiet conversation with Rhodey, “I can send Bruce, and any other science people Wakanda can spare. We’ll find Selvig if he’s there to be found, too. Do you need anything else?”

“Yeah,” Darcy replied, “Something happened, just before people started vanishing. This energy that I’m pretty sure involved those Stones. We’ll need the source of that.”

Steve closed his eyes as hopelessness shot through him again, “It’s gone, Darcy. Thanos opened a portal and took it with him. It’s gone.”

Darcy didn’t seem as disheartened by this as he was and continued with the same determination. “The portal he left through, is that the same way he arrived?”

“I think so,” Steve frowned, “I didn’t see him arrive, but he didn’t use a ship or anything. He was just suddenly _there_.”

“Okay, good. Jane caught the arrival portal and managed to calculate its origin point from the readings we got. If I can figure out how she did it, I should be able to plug the leaving portal readings into the same equations and get the exit point.”

“God, I love you,” Steve shook his head in awe, but quickly noted the next problem, “But that could be anywhere in the universe. Even if we could find it, how would we get there?”

“Find out how Thor got here. Jane said there was some kind of small Bifrost related thing where the source of the bridge came along for the ride. Maybe it can be used again.”

“I’m on it.” Steve started making his way back to the others his steps certain now, his purpose clear, “How much time will you need to track the location?”

“No idea until I start trying.” Darcy admitted. “Jane has a tendency to skip recording steps when she’s in the middle of amazing feats of science, so there’s probably going to be holes I’ll have to work through. I’ve hijacked Stark’s AI while he’s out of range who can help with the math, but you’ll definitely want those sciencey people to check my work before you use it, anyway.”

Thor, Natasha, Rhodey and Bruce looked over at him as he joined their circle.

“Got it.” He told Darcy, “Make a start and I’ll call you back in half an hour for an update.”

As soon as he hung up, Steve turned to Bruce.

“Bruce, I need you to talk to Shuri and get the best science people she can spare and a plane to take you to Bolivia.”

“What the hell’s in Bolivia?” Rhodey asked.

“Jane Foster’s work base.”

“Jane?” Thor shifted beside him.

“She’s gone,” Steve told him directly, but gently, “But her work isn’t. They hacked every satellite in the sky and took readings of the entire battle.”

“Why would –” Bruce started to say, but Steve cut him off.

“And those readings,” He said intensely, “Say this could be reversible.”

Silence followed his statement and then Bruce nodded.

“Right, so Bolivia, then.”

Steve nodded, “If you can find Erik Selvig, get him there too. Otherwise, anyone who you think could pick up Jane Foster’s work and run with it.”


	5. But doubt creeps in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I wasn't going to post anything today. I thought I didn't have it in me.
> 
> See, I live in New Zealand. I grew up in Christchurch. 
> 
> But there's so little I can do. In some ways, words are all I have to offer. So I'm posting the next chapter in this, a story about what happens after the world falls apart. Those movies always leave this part out.
> 
> Also? Fuck white supremacists. Fuck nazis. Fuck racism and intolerance and bigotry and hate. And if you have ever looked at another human and thought, in any way, that they weren't as _human_ as you? Then fuck you, too.
> 
> Empathy is most important thing we have. Look after each other. Stop normalising hate.
> 
> And to anyone affected by the events of today, or the countless similar acts of violence that happen so frequently all over the world... I don't have words to offer for what you're facing, but you are not alone. You are loved and supported and _seen_ by so many people. Including me.
> 
> Aroha nui

When they arrived, Darcy hugged Bruce and Shuri longer than she probably should have. Since they’d never met before, possibly she wasn’t meant to hug them at all.

She didn’t care.

Hearing Steve’s voice on the phone had been a balm to her soul, but there was nothing like solid physical proof that humanity still existed.

They let her hug them, held on tighter than usual themselves. Everyone was raw today. Every one of them had lost too much.

Eventually, they all moved back into their own personal space. If some eyes were surreptitiously dried on sleeves, no one felt the need to comment.

They set to work moving in. Darcy gave them the tour of the camp, the basics of their systems, the idiosyncrasies of Jane’s machines and the basic run down of what she already knew. In the hours it had taken them to fly there, she’d started piecing together Jane’s work on finding the origin point of the incoming portal. She could easily track the work that she’d done on the main computer as everything that was entered after the portal appeared. Putting them in order was a bit trickier – they were spread across spreadsheets, word documents, and sticky notes. One formula had even been typed into a search bar.

The written notes were considerably harder, with some of them in a notebook, some on scraps of paper around the notebook, all interspersed with unrelated notes, and none conveniently numbered or lined up in order. Jane had even put a few lines of formulae on a tablet nearby, and Darcy had no idea why she would have reached for the tablet at all when she had the computer right in front of her.

All in all, it was a mess. Darcy had started with the computer, copying everything into one place where FRIDAY could start sorting through it. FRIDAY had been running the numbers for hours already and still less than half of the notes were connecting.

While she waited for back-up to arrive, Darcy had started on the paper notes. She was well practiced at deciphering Jane’s work, but it wasn’t a job that could be rushed. Every digit had to be copied correctly and any place where something was indecipherable had to have every option recorded.

The only thing keeping her sane were Steve’s regular updates, the promise of support arriving soon, and the gentle, constant motion inside her that reminded her she wasn’t really alone.

The updates from Steve were mostly heartening. The news that both Clint and Eric had survived made her cry, the news that they would be heading her way as quickly as Clint could fly made her cry more. Confirmation that Thor could transport a small team of people almost anywhere as long as he knew exactly where had refocussed her, making her more determined. The simple reassurance that settled in her as his calls continued to come in, reliable and real and alive, kept the terror at bay.

Mostly, anyway. Nothing kept it out completely.

Shuri and Bruce took one look at the mess of notes and made a hasty retreat. It was better that she handle that part, they agreed; her familiarity with how Jane worked would be essential for getting it right, and FRIDAY would be able to run the possible calculations faster than any human.

Instead, they turned to the raw data. The plane they’d brought was packed to the brim with Wakandan tech, and the guards who refused to leave Shuri’s sides helped to move the heavier items around so that Shuri could connect everything to Jane’s set up.

Darcy avoided any heavy lifting with the simple excuse of a back injury.

Shuri was suitably impressed by Darcy’s hacking skills, and only mildly miffed when she realised there were Wakandan satellites among the mix. She was mollified by the knowledge that it had taken years for Darcy to achieve this, and by the sheer number of satellites she’d subtly wormed her way into.

Any irritation disappeared when she got her first look at the actual data. The scale of what Darcy and Jane had achieved, here in the desert with second hand machines held together with duct tape left both Shuri and Bruce speechless for a moment. They marvelled at the way opposing and disjointed technologies had been nudged and twisted and coaxed into positions and settings where they could all work together.

No nation could have managed this alone. No multi-national corporation had enough money, no intergovernmental organisation had enough power, no influential individual held enough sway. And none of those groups would have worked together long enough to make it happen collectively.

This could never have been done if it wasn’t done illegally.

With a veritable treasure of data to give them hope, they got to work.

They stared at numbers, graphs, maps. Shapes and colours and patterns danced across every screen and surface.

They worked some more.

Eric arrived and set to work helping Darcy piece together Jane’s math while Clint joined the Dora Milaje in the task of care – feeding, watering, guarding, and generally looking out for the people they loved and the people who held the lives of those they loved in their hands and heads.

Steve continued to call just as regularly. It was easier for Darcy with so many people around now, and the calls got shorter, quick updates and questions rather than distracting conversations, but she was glad he kept calling, a part of her still not convinced that he was okay.

They were working hard in Wakanda as well. There were the people to take care of. The injured needed healing, the dead needed collecting, the disappeared needed tallying, and the living needed hope. Anyone who was able was set to work in some way.

There were also plans to make. Plans for every eventuality. Worst-case plans and best-case plans and everything in between.

When Bruce and Shuri confirmed what Darcy had guessed – that the snap should be reversable – they set the first plans into motion. A video was sent out, first to governments and the United Nations to give them time to prepare their own responses, shortly after to the whole world.

_Queen_ Ramonda carried the bulk of the video, her respected position as Queen Mother of Wakanda making her a voice few could easily question. Backed up by a uniformed Captain America and an armoured War Hammer, her message held the weight of heroes.

They told the world that there was still hope, that the fight was not over, that the Avengers and Wakanda continued to stand firm.

They asked people to take care of each other, to look to their neighbours and help anyone who needed it.

They made it clear that recovery plans worldwide needed to keep space for those who had been lost, needed to be prepared for them to return as suddenly as they’d gone.

They promised to fight for that chance with everything they had.

Darcy forced herself to nap after a few hours. She’d compiled all of Jane’s notes and sorting them into the right order would be more Eric and FRIDAY than her.

Bruce and Shuri were getting frustrated by the information they didn’t have, now. The planet-wide energy readings had seemed like it held all the answers at first glance, but it was still only energy readings. It was just numbers. It didn’t tell them how the Infinity Stones worked, how Thanos had done what he’d done, how they might reverse it when (if, Darcy couldn’t help thinking) they managed to get hold of the gauntlet.

And Darcy had slept only a few hours since this had started. She wasn’t even sure if it had been two days or three. She ached from sitting upright too long, eyes bleary from staring at screens. Food was the only thing she’d managed to stay on top of, mostly because she was more the kind to eat when stressed than to forget.

It wasn’t healthy, she knew. The baby needed rest. She needed rest.

She needed Steve. She needed Jane. She needed a solution.

None of those were options now, though, so she forced herself to try for sleep instead.

When she woke, Bruce and Shuri were yelling about quantum mechanics, Eric was snoring with his head on the desk, and someone had conjured a huge pile of food that definitely hadn’t been in the camp when she went to sleep.

Clint climbed down from his seat on top of her caravan to tell her that she’d missed three calls from Steve while she slept. He’d insisted that they let her sleep each time but hadn’t stopped calling every half hour as they’d agreed.

Then he gave her a sidelong look and asked if he got matchmaker points for technically introducing them.

Darcy considered for a moment, then shrugged and let him have it.

She filled a plate and settled in beside Eric, easing the mouse out from under his outstretched hand so she could check the progress he and FRIDAY had made.

They’d pieced together a lot of Jane’s math, with the beginning and the end pretty solid. There were a few pieces in the middle, though, that still didn’t connect and a few of the more illegible parts that hadn’t yet been nailed down.

She flipped back to her original notes about where each part had come from and set about trying to think like Jane.

Absorbed in the work, she didn’t register the sounds of the engines until the shouting started, even then only glancing up to see why the guards were suddenly arrayed in front of the open side of the tent, spears lowered.

When she realised what she was hearing, she tensed, unsure what she should do. Half of her wanted to grab a weapon and join the rank of fighters, the other half wanted to curl in on herself and duck under the desk. She’d found herself far more risk averse since she’d gotten pregnant.

Before she could decide, the large ship settled into view just outside the camp.

It wasn’t like the various iterations of the quinjet that she’d seen over the years. It wasn’t like the sleek craft that the Wakandans had arrived in.

If Darcy had to guess, she’d say it was a spaceship.

As the ramp lowered, everyone tensed. The Dora Milaje edged forward in unison, Clint stood tall on the roof of the caravan, arrow nocked and ready, Darcy slid her hand towards the drawer that held her taser, Bruce stepped away from the more fragile equipment, Shuri slid something onto her hands.

Eric snored.

Darcy didn’t know what she was expecting, but she definitely wasn’t expecting Tony Stark.

He strode down the ramp, looking battered and exhausted and broken in a way that she completely understood. That was the face of someone who had watched everything he had disappear in a moment.

It was a face she’d seen a lot of today.

He was followed by a blue… woman? Alien, Darcy decided. She probably shouldn’t assign human genders to a species she knew nothing about just because of vague similarities in shape.

“Which one of you is Lewis?” Tony shouted when he was halfway to the tent, apparently unfazed by the wall of spears in front of him.

Darcy hesitated as she did a quick risk assessment in her head. She slid the taser back into its drawer and slowly raised her hand.

Tony focussed on her with a terrifying intensity, “How the hell did you hack my AI?”

“Um, hi, Mr Stark,” Darcy waved hesitantly, grateful for the highly trained guards between them even though she didn’t really believe he would hurt her. He was hurting, clearly, and people who were hurting lashed out without thinking.

“Good to see you intact.” Darcy kept her voice even and calm, careful not to let her own emotions come into this. “Nobody told me that you’d come back so it’s good to see you made it. We weren’t sure we’d ever find out what happened to you. Your people must have been pretty happy to see you alive.”

She noticed the flicker of hesitation cross his face before he pushed it aside. “This is my first stop. You didn’t answer my question.”

“You…” Darcy frowned, confused, “Did you seriously come here to interrogate a total stranger before you went to see your fiancée? Why would you do that?”

“Because… I don’t know!” Tony threw up his hands in exasperation, “FRIDAY mentioned you used Stark satellites. That shouldn’t have been possible. My AI is specifically designed to be unhackable; even I couldn’t hack into those satellites. So I need to know how you did it because, because –”

He broke off and she saw him deflate as the end of that sentence registered in his own mind.

“Because that’s a problem I can fix.” He finished quietly.

Darcy paused, staring at the suddenly defeated looking man in front of her.

“I didn’t,” She answered calmly.

Tony shook his head at her, “You can’t lie about this. Once the information slipped, I asked FRIDAY directly. I know you’ve been using my satellites for a while.”

“Yeah, but it’s right there in the title, dude,” Darcy explained, “The ‘I’ part of ‘AI’? You put your satellites in the control of something capable of having opinions and interests and making independent decisions. Why would I bother trying to hack your systems when I could negotiate with them?”

Tony stared at her in shock, “So you just… _talked_ Friday into helping you?”

“Well,” Darcy shrugged, “Sort of, yeah. To be fair, it’s not like it was easy. You don’t need to worry that any random person could have done it. That was actually part of our agreement; that if anyone else managed to do the same thing then we would alert you to the security risk.”

“FRIDAY,” Tony asked, “How could you have not told me about this?”

“Before yesterday, Miss Lewis’ requests always fell well within reasonable parameters for actions that did not require reporting. Her first request that exceeded minor capacity occurred yesterday. I deemed this to fall under section 17 of the parameters for assisting Avengers in combat. When the battle was over and Miss Lewis requested further assistance deciphering Jane Foster’s calculations, I followed alpha-34 procedures and advised Miss Potts of the situation, who then authorised this work as Priority 1.”

“Jesus, just how long have you been working together?” Tony shook his head then pointed fierce at Darcy, “This ends now. Friday, Shut down all –”

“Wait!” Darcy threw her hands out, cutting him off, “Before you shut us down, at least ask what we’re doing.”

Bruce shuffled forward from where he and the others had stood watching the drama unfold, “It’s important, Tony.”

Clint nodded and chimed in from his perch, “Priority 1 important.”

Tony glanced at his used-to-be-comrades. Once he’d have trusted them in a heartbeat, but it had been years since they’d even talked and there were some pretty big events in those years.

But the world had ended. If he couldn’t trust them now, then what the hell was the point.

“Fine,” He sighed and rolled his eyes, “What exactly are you doing here?”

Darcy answered promptly, “Figuring out how to bring them all back.”

Tony stared at her and then looked at Bruce who nodded silently.

“You believe you can do that?” The person behind him asked, still standing by the entrance to the ship, watching the humans guardedly.

Darcy considered her options before answering honestly, “I believe we can find where Thanos went when he left here. And I believe Thor can transport a small team there with his upgraded Mew-Mew. And I believe that if we can get that gauntlet then there’s a solid chance that we could be able to bring them all back.”

“Get the gauntlet?” Tony scoffed, “You can’t get the gauntlet! The guy can change reality with a wave of his hand! How the hell do you think you can get the gauntlet off him?”

“They think if they take him by surprise,” Darcy started but stopped when Tony laughed.

“Take him by surprise,” He nodded with a slightly mad look in his eye, “Yeah, we tried that. We had a solid plan and a good team and we took him by surprise and _we still lost_. And now some of the strongest people we had _no longer exist_. There is no fight that he won’t be expecting.”

Darcy opened her mouth to disagree, but found her mind blank of anything but his words. _There is no fight he won’t be expecting_.

He was right. She couldn’t argue that.

Clint spoke up in her place, “Yeah, well, it’s still got a better chance of working than the alternative of sitting around doing nothing. I lost two of my kids, Tony. I don’t fucking care how slim the chances are, it’s worth trying.”

Tony’s façade of anger broke at this and he closed his eyes as everything that had happened hit him again.

“Clint,” Tony reached out in sympathy, “I’m –”

“Don’t,” Clint shook his head, “I’m not giving up on them yet. And if you fought this guy up close then what you know could make or break this. You need to talk to Steve and Natasha, help them plan their attack. You don’t have to join the fight, but you can at least provide information.”

“Right,” Tony nodded, “Guess I’ll just go to Wakanda then. Always wanted to go.”

“I will help as well,” The blue figure announced, “I will do anything that I can to help you kill my father.”

“Father?” Bruce asked.

“Long story,” Tony waved him off, and turned back to the ship, “Let’s go.”

“Wait,” Shuri stopped him, “This space ship, does it have maps of the universe?”

Tony shrugged and looked to his companion.

“Of course,” She nodded, “All the standard ones and a record of anywhere it’s been.”

Shuri stepped forward excitedly, “Then we need to use them before you go. We’ve been unable to confirm the accuracy of Doctor Foster’s calculations, but if we can align her result with a map that goes far enough, then we can determine how likely it is that she was correct.”

After a short discussion among the Wakandans, the Dora Milaje stood down and shifted their attention outward again. Two of them accompanied their princess and the others into the spaceship.

Nebula pulled up a holograph of a galaxy and asked where they needed to see.

It took a few minutes for Shuri to work out how to convert the answer Jane had underlined three times, which seemed to be a measure relative to their own position on Earth, into a number that the ship’s navigation system could understand.

Darcy felt like the process was hampered more than helped by the advice Bruce and Tony attempted to give.

Finally, Shuri entered something and the holo-galaxy shifted, spun and grew until there was only a single solar system in view.

The point marked on the map was in the middle of space, not far from a large planet.

“This is Titan.” Nebula announced. “This is where we fought him. He took the Time Stone and left us.”

“So, it works!” Shuri grinned, “He would have come straight here once he took the other Stone.”

“It’s not all that precise, though, is it?” Clint noted, “I mean, a planet’s a big place and this isn’t even on the planet. How will we know where to aim?”

“We can work that out once we have a location to work with,” Bruce advised, “But this confirms that once we work out how Jane got this number, we can track Thanos relatively closely.”

“It’s moving,” Darcy murmured, staring at the holographic solar system turning in front of them.

“Of course,” Shuri reached over to change some settings while Tony tried to figure out how she knew what to do when she’d been on the ship less than 10 minutes, “This is real time. If we take it back to the exact moment when the portal was created…”

The planets spun backwards and suddenly the spot Jane had identified lined up perfectly with the surface of the planet. Nebula gestured and the map zoomed in to the spot.

“This is exactly where we fought him,” She said, impressed, “This Foster is incredibly clever.”


	6. What was certain is gone

Darcy watched the numbers blindly, Tony’s words playing over and over in her head. _There is no fight he won’t be expecting._

Tony and Nebula had left shortly after they’d confirmed Jane’s math was right. They’d stayed long enough to eat but had declined the option of rest. They had a purpose now, after all, they needed to get to Wakanda where the next attack on the Mad Titan was being planned.

It was hours since they’d left, and still Darcy heard his words in her mind.

_There is no fight he won’t be expecting._

She couldn’t shake the feeling that he was right, that no matter how well they did the science, how perfectly they did the maths, they couldn’t win the fight.

The numbers rolling across the screen in front of her were carrying them slowly closer to that fight. There was only one hole left in Jane’s math now, one gap where Jane had made some leap in her mind that they couldn’t track at all. FRIDAY would take hours running through the million different ways to bridge that gap, trying to find the right one.

And when she got it, FRIDAY would notify Tony immediately, and the Avengers would run into battle.

And probably lose.

“FRIDAY,” Darcy moved decisively, done with second guessing. She grabbed one of Jane’s working tablets and plugged it into the computer FRIDAY was connected to, “Can you put everything we’ve got on this tablet? I want to run through some of it with Bruce.”

“Of course, Miss Lewis,” FRIDAY agreed, “However, as this tablet is not capable of connecting to the satellites on its own, I will not be able to assist with any work done on this device.”

“That’s fine,” Darcy kept her tone nonchalant, wondering how good an AI was at reading a poker face when she didn’t have any visual inputs, “He can use one of the connected terminals if he needs help.”

“The transfer is complete,” FRIDAY advised, “I will alert you once I have calculated the most likely variable involved in the final section.”

“You’re the best, Friday,” Darcy told the AI as she unplugged the tablet. _The best_ , she thought, _but what you don’t know, you can’t tell_.

Darcy snatched up a notebook and a pencil and scribbled something down from memory as she made her way over to where Bruce and Shuri were discussing things way beyond her understanding.

“Hey, guys,” Darcy interrupted nervously, “I’ve been thinking and um… I think I need your help.”

“Of course,” Bruce said amiably, “What do you need?”

“Tony’s right,” She clutched at the tablet and notebook in her hands, “We can’t beat Thanos in a fight. Tony had a guy who could see the future and a chick who could put people to sleep and a bunch of badass heroes and the element of surprise and they still lost. We had a whole bloody army and a bunch of badass heroes and we still lost. The Hulk won’t even come out to play because he knows – _we can’t fight Thanos_.”

“Darcy,” Bruce frowned and shook his head, “I know this lack of progress is disheartening, but we can’t give up. If we can take him by surprise then I’m sure –”

“Exactly,” Darcy interrupted, “We need to take him by surprise. But Thanos is never going to be surprised by people trying to fight him. He’s spent years, decades, fighting everyone he meets.”

“What are you suggesting?” Shuri asked.

“The thing that will take him by surprise is if we don’t try to fight him.” Darcy explained and then paused for a steadying breath, preparing herself to commit to this path, “I want to talk to him.”

They both stared at her for a moment before Bruce cleared his throat and asked in a tone that made it clear he thought she was crazy.

“You want to talk to the genocidal monster?”

“Yes!” Darcy nodded, “Look, he’s won, right? He thinks he’s done. If people come to fight him, then he’ll fight back because that’s what he does. And he’ll win, because he can wipe people out of existence with a click of his fingers. But if someone who is clearly not a threat shows up to talk? Why would he bother killing them? I think there’s a solid chance that I could get close to him and the gauntlet if I go alone.”

“But what would that achieve?” Shuri shook her head, “As soon as you tried to take it, he would stop you.”

“I know it’s a long shot, but so is everything else!” Darcy reminded them, “I talked Stark’s AI, which is specifically designed to keep people out of his systems, into letting me use his systems without telling him. I talked the Bolivian government into giving Jane everything she needs and protecting her from the Sokovia Accords. Hell, I talked Erik into wearing pants _all day_! I’m pretty good at talking people into things. So, yeah, it’s risky. The chance of it working is not great. But if I can’t talk him into giving up the glove or undoing things himself, then the Avengers can come along with their fighty plan anyway. So, what the hell do we have to lose by trying?”

“Besides you?” Shuri asked astutely.

“I’m a grown-ass woman and I get to make my own choices.” Darcy replied.

Shuri studied her appraisingly and then nodded, “Okay, I’m in.”

“What?” Bruce looked at her in shock, “You agree with this?”

Shuri shrugged, “I’m the daughter of a King. I understand the importance of diplomacy, even with enemies.”

“This is…” Bruce shook his head, “Darcy, Thanos is _terrifying_ and you’re just… human.”

“That’s exactly why I can do this,” She told him seriously, “Because I’m just human, and not exactly an impressive specimen of one either, so I’m not a threat. That means he’ll let me talk. And once he lets me talk, that same mere humanity is what will make him listen. Because I am the fucking queen of empathy and putting myself in other people’s shoes and if I can make him think I understand him, then I can make him start to understand me.

“And if that’s not enough for you, then just look at what you’ve been working on,” Darcy gestured at the screen full of crossed out notes and ideas in front of them, “You said it yourself, we don’t know enough about how the Stones or the gauntlet work to even guess at how to reverse what he did. And who is the one person who has that information?”

She paused to let that sink in for a moment before continuing, “Talking to Thanos isn’t just our best chance of getting the information that we need to fix this; it’s our only chance.”

“Argh,” Bruce turned away and paced, dropping his head into his hands. He shook his head and turned back to her, “Okay, fine, how exactly do you plan on doing this?”

Darcy smiled and handed him the tablet, “First up, you need to finish the work on tracking Thanos’ location. FRIDAY and I managed to fit together everything Jane wrote down so there’s only one gap left where Jane made a leap in her head that Friday can’t follow. I’m pretty sure, the answer is this.”

She held out the notebook so they could both see the equation she’d scrawled there.

“This is Jane’s magic conversion formula. All these different seemingly magical powers need to be converted into numbers that can work with Jane’s science. The different kinds each have their own variable that this formula uses. If you put Jane’s answer through this, then you’ll get the variable for Thanos’ portals and we’ll be able to find him.”

“Has FRIDAY confirmed that?” Bruce asked as he scrolled through the calculations on the tablet.

“Haven’t told her about it,” Darcy admitted, “Because Friday is under strict instructions to tell Stark about any possible breakthroughs we make. And if the Avengers get this answer first, then they’ll just go straight to fighting. It’s right there in the name – they’re vengeful. And you know that Nebula chick has never stopped to ask questions first in her life.”

“I don’t like the idea of hiding something from them, Darcy,” Bruce frowned, but he wasn’t disagreeing, so she took it as a win.

“It won’t be for long.” Darcy promised. “The other thing we need is an excuse to get back to Wakanda. I need to talk to Thor and convince him to send me alone first. I know he’ll give me a pretty short time limit anyway, so you won’t need to keep it quiet for long.”

“I will need access to my lab to complete our work,” Shuri stated, “There are things there that I could not bring with me, but we will need them.”

“Excellent,” Darcy loved how Shuri took things in stride, “So, how fast can you find that location, Bruce?”

Bruce shook his head again but answered, “I can have it by the time we land.” He sighed and closed his eyes, “Steve is going to kill me.”

“Steve respects my ability to make my own choices,” Darcy told him, sounding more confident then she was.

Bruce raised an eyebrow at her and replied dryly, “But you have no intention of telling him first, do you?”

Darcy looked away, hoping to hide her guilt, “He will respect my choice. Eventually. But we can’t spare the time it would take for him to get there.”

\--

It took no time at all to arrange it. Clint and Eric would stay in Bolivia with a couple of Dora Milaje as back up. They would hold down the fort and keep Jane’s systems running.

Darcy had a moment to wonder how Jane would react to hearing that Darcy had handed so much of her carefully guarded research over to a giant international corporation _and_ a powerful government representative without a second’s hesitation.

More than anything, she wanted Jane to yell at her for trusting Stark and Shuri with her work. She would love to hear Jane say it was wrong, that it wasn’t what they’d agreed. She’d take Jane never forgiving her.

It would be worth it, just to have Jane _exist_ again.

Despite the data having been transferred to other, fancier systems, the actual set up that was still tied into the satellites came from this spot. A lot of the calibration required to access the satellites depended on global position, so trying to move that elsewhere would take far too long.

And who knew if they might still need it.

So, Eric would stay as the scientist that Jane would actually choose for the job, watched over by world-class warriors.

Everyone else would head to Wakanda.

Shuri had spouted some technical jargon that Darcy hadn’t even pretended to understand, but everyone else had nodded and agreed that it would mean she needed to go back to Wakanda.

Darcy didn’t bother explaining herself. She just insisted that she was coming, too. Clint just winked at her and told her to say hi to Steve, so he, at least, came up with his own explanation.

The flight, on the other hand, was not so quick.

The Wakandan plane flew a lot faster than a commercial flight could have gone, cutting the time almost in half. But it was still 6 hours in an enclosed space with nothing to distract her from everything she’d been trying not to think about.

Darcy paced for a while, then decided she should try to sleep, then got up again when she couldn’t get comfortable.

Bruce had laid claim to a corner and was working carefully through the numbers she had given him, making sure the calculations were correct first, then he would use them to find the destination of the departure portal.

Shuri was flying the plane and only stepped away from the controls for a few minutes at a time.

The guards that stayed with them watched her pace, and she thought about trying to talk to them to distract herself, but they’d clearly fallen back on training and duty to face what had happened and she didn’t think she could handle that conversation right now.

Because that just made her think about what her own duty was here, what she was trained for.

She wasn’t trained for much of anything.

She was well trained in hacking satellites, sarcasm, reminding scientists to eat and sleep. She had practice in disappearing from the watchful gaze of shady governments, she was great at keeping everything Jane did backed up and ready to pick up and run at a moment’s notice.

But this was way beyond anything she could prepare for. No matter what she said to anyone else, this wasn’t like talking Eric into wearing pants.

This was literally negotiating for the lives of half the universe, including some she cared about so much her heart ached, with a being who had not exhibited any signs of being open to logic or reason or discussion.

She was in so far over her head here.

And even if her gut instinct was correct, and talking to Thanos had a better chance of success than fighting him, that still didn’t make it _her_ job.

She was just the intern, the assistant, the friend and side-kick. She wasn’t the one who’d made promises to protect the planet. There were thousands of others who were better trained, better positioned, who had been tested or elected to prove their skill, their commitment.

Even if half of them were gone, there were still plenty of people out there who would surely be a better candidate for this task.

Except none of them were here.

None of them had the power to get to Thanos before it turned into a fight.

None of them knew enough to fumble through the science involved, none of them thought it was even an option, and none of them could act on an idea like this as quickly as she could.

When they finally landed, she was still lost in her thoughts, trying to convince herself that she was the best person for this job. Trying to hold herself together when the pressure of the last days was starting to break through.

As Shuri took them down to the landing pad that connected directly to her private lab, Bruce stepped up beside Darcy.

He turned the tablet over in his hands a few times, then sighed and handed it to her.

“I’ve checked the numbers a dozen times,” He told her, “That’s where he went.”

Darcy took a steadying breath and reached out to take the tablet, “Thank you.”

Bruce shook his head, “Please don’t make me regret this.”

“I’ll do my best,” She gave him a slightly wobbly smile, “I want this to work more than anyone.”

She tucked the tablet carefully into the backpack she’d brought with her, hoping her nerves wouldn’t be too obvious to everyone else.

She was the last down the ramp as she dawdled, trying to pull her thoughts and emotions into line. She trailed after the others as Shuri led the way into the building proper, where a small crowd waited for them.

Shuri headed straight for a woman that Darcy guessed was her mother. There were also more of the Wakandan honour guard, as well as most of the Avengers waiting for them.

Darcy hesitated when she saw Steve. They’d kept their relationship a secret for so long, she wasn’t sure if she was meant to keep her distance here. She wasn’t sure she was capable of it; she could feel the tears rising in her throat at the mere sight of him.

He made the decision for her, striding forward so quickly he was right there before she could even react, gathering her into his arms, holding tight like he was afraid she might disappear.

She clung to him just as hard, the same fear lurking in the back of her own mind.

The sobs worked their way up her chest, into her throat, until she was racked with them, weeping into his shoulder.

He was here. He was solid and tangible. She wasn’t alone.

She could feel his own breakdown trembling through him, and she held tighter, eyes closed tight against the world, never wanting this moment to end.

She didn’t know how long they stood, simply holding on. The tears and the sobs eased, replaced by the horrible headache that such crying always left behind. Still, they clung to each other.

Steve pulled back first, just far enough to see her face, eyes roving over her in an inspection she doubted she would pass. She knew how she must look. Exhausted and on the verge of collapse.

He didn’t look much better.

He wiped the tears from her face and she returned the favour.

Steve pulled back enough to glance around, and when he did Darcy remembered that there was a world outside of the two of them, spectators to their reunion.

Except apparently not anymore.

The lab they’d arrived in was empty now, the others having apparently moved up the spiral ramp, giving them privacy.

Once he’d confirmed that they were alone, Steve turned back to her with a question on his face. He slid one hand around to the curve of her stomach.

“Is it?” He couldn’t seem to finish the question, but she didn’t need him to.

“Good,” She nodded quickly, shooting him a wry smile, “Still kicking.”

Something tight released behind Steve’s eyes and he dropped his head down to meet her forehead.

“And you?” He asked gently.

Darcy took a shuddering breath, not sure she’d ever feel steady again.

“I’m really fucking glad you’re here.” She told him, clinging to his arms.

“Me too.” His voice broke, “God, Darcy if you had –” he broke off, shaking his head.

“You’d have kept going.” Darcy told him firmly, “That’s how it works. No matter what happens, we always have to keep going.”

Steve sighed, knowing it wasn’t entirely true, but unable to disagree. Not now.

Not when this wasn’t over yet.

“I love you.” He said instead. “You know that, right? Always.”

“I know,” Darcy assured him, understanding why he needed to say it, why he needed to hear her believe it. It was the same reason she wasn’t voicing. “Just like you know I love you. More than anything.”

Steve nodded in response.

It wasn’t a question, really, for either of them. They’d stuck together through so much, held onto each other when everything else was falling apart. They’d always been very separate people, living their own lives which only partly overlapped, but they’d decided long ago that they wanted those separate lives to run in parallel.

Their relationship had been tested by fire, baked at the kind of heats that made most things burn or shatter, but made some things harder and stronger. There was no doubt left between them, not at a time like this.

But there was uncertainty. The future was still in doubt.

They wouldn’t stop fighting now, they couldn’t. They couldn’t give up on Jane or Bucky. They couldn’t abandon all the friends and enemies and total strangers who were counting on them.

Steve would go to fight Thanos, and Darcy knew in her heart that he couldn’t win.

But she wouldn’t try to stop him from fighting.

She would try to stop Thanos from fighting, knowing it might mean she could be the one that didn’t come back.

If she succeeded, then maybe no one else would have to die, and Steve would understand why she’d done it.

If she failed, then probably they’d both die, so Steve wouldn’t need to figure out how to forgive her.

“Whatever happens,” She told him again, staring into his eyes like she could write the words on his soul if she just looked hard enough, “I’ll always love you. And however this ends, I’ll know that we all did everything we could.”

“Whatever happens.” He echoed sadly.

They held each other for a while longer, and if a few more tears fell, there was no reason to keep them in.

Eventually, they made their way up the ramp to the main citadel.

Thor waited by the door.

“Lady Darcy,” He stepped forward when they appeared, “I am most glad to see you again, though the circumstances are beyond dire.”

“Right back at you, big guy.” Darcy smiled sadly at him, releasing Steve’s hand to offer Thor a hug.

She gave a soft chuckle as he pulled her into a warm embrace. “You still give the best hugs.”

Thor stepped back, meeting her gaze with a sombre one, “I was wondering if we could speak about Jane.”

Darcy’s breath caught, very much not wanting to have that conversation.

But it was an opportunity she couldn’t pass up.

“Of course.” She whispered, turning to look at Steve, “Give us a minute?”

Steve nodded, placing one last, sweet kiss on her lips before moving off to find some task that needed to be done.

Leaving Darcy and Thor alone.

Darcy watched until Steve was out of sight, and then counted a few more seconds to be sure he was out of earshot. She turned back to Thor and found him watching her, waiting for her to be ready to speak.

Before he could make a sound, she cut him off.

“Thor, I need you to send me to Thanos alone first,” Darcy jumped straight to the point.

“What are you talking about?” Thor looked at her in confusion.

Darcy kept her voice low and certain as she continued, “I know you can be hot headed, and you have a tendency to hit first and ask questions later. And I know you’ve lost enough to be justifiably pissed right now. But you’re also a prince, so I know you know about diplomacy too. I need you to listen and I need you to think before acting right now.”

Thor met her gaze, recognising the seriousness of what she was saying. She could see his mind switching from the aching conversation he’d been hoping for into the planning, Avenging mode that she needed. When she knew he was paying attention, she continued.

“Thanos knows things that we don’t, things that we need to know to pull this off. We need to talk to him first, before we try fighting him again. It’s the only chance we have.”

Thor frowned at her and inhaled as he considered, “There may be some truth in that, but sending you alone would be foolhardy. There are others better able to protect themselves.”

“If someone capable of defending themselves against him shows up, he’ll see them as a threat and he won’t stop to listen. I’m the least threatening person here who has any chance of getting through to him. I can talk my way out of almost anything, I understand enough about the science to know what questions to ask, and I’m actually willing to try. Name any other person who meets that criteria.”

Thor gazed at her in assessment, eyes missing nothing as he spoke quietly, “It is dangerous for you. He could kill you in an instant if he chose to.”

“I know,” Darcy nodded, “And I accept the risk.”

Thor shook his head slowly, “You are not suited to the task in your condition.”

“My condition?” Darcy asked, insulted on principle, “What the hell does that mean?”

“You are with child.” He answered as if it was obvious.

“Oh,” Darcy deflated, “You noticed that, huh?”

“Of course,” Thor replied, “Are the others not aware?”

“Just Steve,” She told him, “And we’d like to keep it that way for now.”

“Very well,” Thor agreed, “But the point stands, you should not be going into battle in this state.”

Darcy rolled her eyes, “First of all, I’m pregnant, not paralysed. Second, since I have no intention to be getting into any kind of physical interaction it doesn’t matter what state my body is in. I’m going to talk to the guy, and my vocal chords are perfectly capable of handling that even with a parasite on board. And third, what we do today is going to define the world my child has to live in. I have the most to lose and gain today, which makes me the _most_ suited to the task.”

Thor looked away to stare out the window. She let him have some silence to consider. When it came to persuasion, silence could be as important as speech.

Thor looked back at her expression serious, “I will give you 10 minutes.”

“Twenty,” Darcy responded instinctively, though she’d gone in thinking 10 would be optimistic.

“Fifteen.” Thor countered.

“Done.” Darcy agreed, holding out her hand to seal the agreement.

Thor smiled at her a little sadly and ignored the hand to pull her into a hug.

“You are a brave and formidable ally, Darcy Lewis,” He said as he pulled back, “And I am very happy that you and Steven have found joy in each other.”

“Thanks, buddy,” Darcy replied trying not to tear up and failing. Oh well, it had been a hell of a day and no one would blame her for crying again.

“Do you know where you’re going?”

Darcy nodded and gestured for him to follow her, “I’ll show you.”


	7. To bring it back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'm going to try to post all the rest of this today. 
> 
> I just want to get this thing over with. I don't want to hold anyone in suspense. I gave all those warnings at the start and this chapter is where things start going firmly in that direction. I'm going to be super anxious about posting the next chapters, so I'd rather just condense all of that anxiety into the shortest time.

Steve sighed and stood up from the table where the others were arguing yet again about how best to position each person. They’d talked through every possibility they could think of. They were as prepared as they were going to get and now the extra planning was just complicating things. They needed action. They needed to be able to do something, _anything_.

He paced over to the window trying to block out the conversations around him. They were on the second floor of the main government building in the city. In the courtyard below he could see people milling about, working on things or just huddling together like the presence of other people could keep out the cold despair of what they’d lost.

Some children were laughing and pointing in awe at the spaceship Tony had parked haphazardly in the middle of the way. Steve smiled at that. It was a good reminder that life would keep going, that even these scars could heal with enough time.

The door of the spaceship descended slowly and Steve frowned as he tried to work out who could be doing that. Nebula and Rocket were both in the room with him, arguing about explosives. Who else would be using their ship?

He moved closer to the window when he saw Thor and Darcy emerge. They moved to the middle of the courtyard together. He felt tension thrum through him as he watched, though he didn’t know why. They were friends. They were allowed to be standing together in a public place talking.

But his instincts screamed at him that something was wrong.

“What are they doing?” He whispered to himself as he leaned into the glass as if that would give him a clearer view. He saw Darcy hand something to Thor, pointing at whatever it was. Then she pulled him in for a brief hug before taking two steps backwards.

“No,” Steve heard his own voice say, still not sure why but _certain_ that this was bad.

When he saw Thor lift Stormbreaker and angle it towards Darcy a spear of ice stabbed through him.

“No!” He shouted, hitting the glass, but it was too late.

With a gesture, Thor summoned a stream of rainbow light that carried Darcy away.

“What the hell was that?” Tony demanded from beside him. The others had moved to join him at some point, undoubtedly drawn by his outbursts. Steve ignored them as he spun and sped out of the room.

Thor was standing still where he’d seen from above. He looked up as Steve approached and seemed resigned, but unafraid.

“Where the hell did you send her?” He demanded loudly when he was still half the courtyard away from Thor.

“She made her own choices, Steven, and a compelling argument.” Thor replied, voice steady and calm.

“Where did you send her?” Steve asked again, Thor’s answer doing nothing to comfort him.

“I think we’d all like to know that,” Natasha’s voice came from behind him and he glanced back to see that everyone who had been in the conference room had followed him out.

“Steven,” Thor looked at him with sympathy, but also determination, “You need to keep your head clear in this. The decision was hers. She asked to do this.”

“Where?” Steve’s voice broke, already knowing, somehow what the answer was. But it wasn’t Thor who gave it to him.

“To Thanos,” Bruce said.

Everyone turned to look at him.

“What?” Tony asked coldly, his voice rising to a shout as he continued, “Why the hell would she want to go there? Why the hell would anyone let her?”

“Because she was right,” Thor replied firmly, “Someone needs to speak to Thanos before we try to kill him. And she is the only one who might succeed.”

Steve stepped back as the shock and fear coursed through him. He raised his hands to his hair, gripping his head and closing his eyes as the world shifted beneath his feet once more. _Darcy_.

Dimly he heard the others exploding with questions, a part of his mind still listening for anything that might be important while the rest of his mind felt like it was falling apart.

Tony was the loudest, “How the hell do you know where to send her to talk to Thanos when FRIDAY seems certain it’s going to be at least another 6 hours before she finishes the calculations?”

“Darcy kept the answer from FRIDAY,” That was Bruce, clearly upset but he’d had a hand in this, “She knew you wouldn’t give her a chance to talk first once you had the location.”

“What information do you think we need from him?” Natasha was the calmest, always assessing, always calculating.

“We don’t know enough about how the gauntlet and the Stones work to be able to reverse what happened. And he’s the only one with those answers.” Bruce again. He knew all about this plan. He’d helped make it happen. And he’d hidden it.

It was Rhodey’s question that finally got through the maelstrom of Steve’s thoughts.

“What makes you think a _civilian_ ,” the way Rhodey stressed the word made it clear what he thought she was and wasn’t capable of, “could get anything out of Thanos?”

Steve’s gaze sharpened on the Colonel. He knew nothing about Darcy and had no idea what he was talking about.

“Lady Darcy is no mere civilian,” Thor’s voice echoed the defensiveness Steve was feeling, “She has been a shield sister in many battles and is braver than most.”

“Okay,” Rhodey’s tone turned placating, “I get that you think highly of her, but the fact remains that she is not trained for anything like this. She’s just a non-combatant human. How could she possibly get anything out of someone like Thanos?”

Steve snorted and the group focussed on him in an instant.

“Look around,” He said sardonically, and gestured at the lot of them, “How do you think she managed this? She _talked_ them into it. Bruce is radiating guilt right now. He clearly didn’t like doing it, but he _helped her anyway_. You think just anyone could convince Thor to talk first and hit later? The fact that she got them to agree at all is exactly why she’s the only one with a chance at pulling something like this off.”

He turned to Thor as the others fell silent at his words, “But she should _not_ be there alone. You sent her, so you can send me after her.”

The others broke out again behind him, each insisting that they should go too, but Steve ignored them all as he met Thor’s gaze. An understanding seemed to pass between the two before Thor shook his head and showed Steve the object Darcy had handed him. It was a watch.

“I promised her 15 minutes,” Thor advised, “She has another 12. But I will take any who wish to go when that time is up.”

“15 minutes?” Steve repeated, his voice unsteady as his thoughts flew to all of the things that could happen in 15 minutes. She could be lying dead already, waiting for the clock to tick down for him to find out.

He believed in her, he did. And he trusted her and respected her enough to let her make her own choices. But, god, he could not stand to lose her. Not now, not like this. When there was even the slightest chance that he didn’t have to.

But it was her choice. And he couldn’t fault it. He’d have made the same one, he _had_ made the same one. The scale of what had happened, of the threat that Thanos was to the universe, was worth risking a few lives for.

And so, she would risk hers, and he had no choice but to let her.

 

Darcy blinked the lights from her eyes when the Bifrost disappeared from around her.

She was standing on a slight hill, looking up at a square building. Well, building might be a generous word. More like a gazebo or a pavilion or a short colonnade or whatever the hell you called a building without walls.

And sitting on the steps of the structure was Thanos.

Well, at least she didn’t have to go far.

“Did you come for vengeance, little one?” His voice was deep and surprisingly pleasant. She could see the sharpness in his gaze as he watched her, but also the arrogance, the certainty that she was not a threat to him.

“Do I look like the vengeful type?” She asked, flapping her arms slightly to point out the chunky sweater that she wore which was clearly not designed for ease of motion.

“No,” he answered easily, “you look like the weak type. But you are here, so you are more than you appear.”

“Well,” She moved forward slowly, letting her arms fall to her sides but keeping her hands clearly in sight and empty, “You’re right, I’m not the weak type. Also not the vengeful type. I’m not sure what I am exactly, but I’m pretty sure I’m not that.”

“Then why have you come?” He allowed her to approach and she paused a few steps away considering her next motion.

“I came to talk,” She answered and moved to settle beside him on the step, just beyond her arms reach, where he could easily kill her, but she was still no threat to him.

“Do you think you can convince me to save you?” he asked, clearly amused by the idea.

“I think you’ve had a shit day.” She replied earnestly, “And maybe you shouldn’t have to deal with that alone.”

The confusion on his face as he looked at her was almost worth the trip. She’d surprised him. She wondered how long it had been since he’d been surprised.

“Today I achieved the goal that I have worked towards for decades,” He reminded her, “Today is my greatest day.”

She shrugged nonchalantly, “There’s great, and then there’s good. Yeah, you won. But it cost you a lot. So I doubt you’re feeling very happy with your achievements right now.”

“What would you know of my loss?” He asked, his guards rising.

“I heard you lost your daughter and your best friend,” She replied, “There’s a lot of people who understand that feeling today.”

He turned away from her to face the horizon again, “So you came to berate me for my actions. It was necessary. It was merciful.”

“I think you’re in pain,” Darcy told him, “And I think people in pain lash out. You have the power to wipe out the universe. I don’t want you to feel like that’s the only way to make the pain stop.”

He blinked and dropped his gaze to the gauntleted hand in his lap.

“You need not fear, small one,” he replied, a hint of sadness in his voice, “I did what I did to save the universe, I would not make my actions meaningless by damaging it.”

 Darcy watched him silently for a few moments, then turned to stare at the horizon as he did. It was a beautiful place, peaceful. She could see why he’d chosen it.

After a moment, she spoke again, quietly, “Do you want to tell me about her?”

He didn’t respond at first and Darcy considered her options. She needed to approach this cautiously, ease him towards the things she wanted to discuss, but 15 minutes was not enough time for that. She didn’t know if she could walk that narrow line between pushing and giving space. Too fast and he’d kill her, too slow and this would all be for nothing.

“Her name was Gamora,” He spoke gruffly, tears in his voice, “and she was the fiercest creature I ever knew. I saw it the first day I met her, when she was just a child. She was like you, then. She appeared small, weak, helpless, but she refused to act it. I could see in that moment all that she could be if she was just given the chance.”

Darcy kept her silence as he spoke. She focussed on keeping her breathing even, her eyes sympathetic. He didn’t need to know about the part of her brain yelling that every person he killed had been just like that, but he’d chosen to take their chances away instead.

“It had to be done,” his voice trembled as he ran his thumb over the orange Stone in his gauntlet, “It was the only way to get the Soul Stone.”

 _Soul Stone_. An echoing voice seemed to sound in Darcy’s head when he spoke the words and she froze, her breath catching in her throat.

“And I could not have saved the universe without the Soul Stone.”

 _Soul Stone_. The echo shot through her mind again and Darcy found her gaze locked on that orange Stone. She didn’t even realise she was reaching out to it until Thanos’ free hand caught hers.

“You do not want to do that, brave one.” He told her, eyes shadowed, “You are not capable of paying the price the Soul Stone requires. It will destroy you.”

The soundless voice echoed his again when he spoke the name of the Stone, demanding this time. And Darcy knew, without doubt but without any clue where it came from, that she _had_ to touch that Stone.

“You have no idea what I’m capable of,” She told Thanos firmly.

He raised a brow at her, “I’m not questioning your strength. But you came alone, so it is not possible for you to pay the price. But it is your life, so if this is how you wish to die then I won’t stop you.”

He released her hand and Darcy hesitated. He was certain touching that Stone would kill her. And he knew more about the Stones than anyone. Thor, too, had said that no mere mortal could hold an Infinity Stone and live, so he was probably right.

But it called to her. In a voice that seemed so familiar, and so comforting, and so unfathomable at the same time.

She looked back at the Stone, just centimetres from her fingertips. She felt the pull but resisted. She wasn’t some idiot who just followed unknown urges. She was smart, and logical, and capable of making informed decisions.

So, she considered her options.

And then she let her fingers move the final centimetres to brush the warm Stone and the world before her vanished.

 

The sky was dark and endless. The burnt orange world around her continued unbroken to the horizon in every direction. There was water beneath her feet, endlessly deep and hiding a universe of secrets. But it was solid as she stepped forward.

Before her, in the vast emptiness, was a couch.

It was incongruous, she knew, but it also seemed exactly right. Because it wasn’t just a couch. It was the couch from her dad’s house. She’d grown up on that couch, playing games, watching movies, building forts. She’d lost her virginity on that couch and then panicked that her dad would be able to smell it and had ‘accidentally’ spilt bathroom cleaner all over it. The cleaner had stained the couch beyond what her dad could put up with and he’d replaced it. Left it out on the roadside for any poor desperate students to lay claim to.

There was a woman on the couch. She was sitting, leaning forwards, elbows on her knees. She watched Darcy with an intensity that was just this side of terrifying.

Darcy didn’t know her. She was certain of that. She’d definitely have remembered meeting someone like that. After all, the woman was green.

“You’ve come for the Soul Stone,” the woman’s voice was husky, “but the Soul Stone is not like the others. It cannot be used without first paying the price.”

“The price?” Darcy echoed, tentatively.

The woman smiled sadly at her and then stood.

“It’s ironic in a way,” She said as she took a step forward, “He fell for false logic much like I did. I thought he couldn’t take the Soul Stone because he has no understanding of love, and he let you reach for it freely because he thought you didn’t have the means to pay the price.”

“I’m, um, not totally sure I want the Soul Stone anyway,” Darcy hedged, “I mean, technically I just came to talk.”

“You came to save half the universe,” the woman took another step forward, now just a metre away, “to restore the lives that were taken. The power to do so comes from the Soul Stone.”

“Oh,” Darcy replied quietly. She took a steadying breath and raised her eyes in question to the woman, “and the price?”

“The Soul Stone will only allow itself to be held by one who has proven they understand the full weight of its power. To take its power, you must first take the life of one you love. A soul for a soul.”

“I –” Darcy took half a step back in shock, “What?”

“That’s why he let you reach for it. Because if you came alone then there couldn’t be anyone for you to kill to pay that price.”

In the blink of an eye the woman before her was different. Instead of the green skin and lithe form, there stood a tall, broad woman, curls tumbling over her shoulders, familiar blue eyes smiling at her. There was no shifting transformation between the two. Instead, it was like the truth of the world simply changed around her, and suddenly the person she’d been talking to had been different all along.

Darcy had never seen this woman before either, but she knew who it was before the woman spoke, could see it in the shape of her face, the curl of her smile, the love in her gaze.

“But we didn’t come alone,” her daughter said, “did we?”


	8. No price too high

Her daughter.

Darcy curled an arm protectively around her stomach. Tears were gathering in her eyes. She knew where this was going, but she wasn’t ready to believe it yet.

She took a shuddering, terrified breath and spoke the first thought that entered her mind.

“You’re so tall.”

The laugh that the woman let out was the most beautiful sound Darcy had ever heard. She looked at Darcy with exasperation and love. Then, a moment later, she was just a child, maybe 12 or 13, looking up at her mother with the same exasperated love.

“Mama,” The girl said, “I’m not really anything yet.”

Darcy felt the tears spill over onto her cheeks as she spoke in a broken voice, “I don’t care, I love you anyway.”

“I know,” There was a teenager before her now, uncertain and scared but figuring things out. And she looked at Darcy like the only certain thing in the world, “That’s why it could work. You could save them all.”

Darcy shook her head and tried to speak but only let out a sob. She took a painful breath and tried again.

“Are you telling me to kill you?” She choked out the question.

“No,” The answer was calm, the voice older, more certain. Before her stood a full adult now, older than Darcy herself, a lifetime of experience in her eyes, “No one can tell you what to do now. It’s a choice only you can make, and one you need to be able to live with. We can only give you the knowledge and the time to make that decision.”

Darcy looked at this woman, this child, this being of nothing but possibilities standing before her. The unlimited potential flickered before her, all ages, all careers, all loves and hates, all possible lives yet to be determined.

And Darcy thought of the uncountable other children who’d already been killed. And the ones left orphaned. She thought of the siblings and the friends and the lovers throughout the universe who she had never and could never know. All mourning this same loss. The loss of a loved one’s future.

“You are amazing,” She told her child, “You are the best of both of us, the best we ever could have been. And you would have-” She broke off with a sob and shook her head.

“You could be,” She nodded, not ready to make the decision yet, though a part of her knew there was only one she could live with, “everything.”

“You love me.” The child, small now, barely five, answered with complete certainty.

Darcy nodded and reached to pull the girl into her arms, “I love you. More than anything.”

She wrapped her arms around the small bundle of life, pulling it closer, into her lap, into herself, letting the sobs run through her. She kept her eyes closed, her arms wrapped around her own stomach and the life inside as she asked what she needed to know.

“If I do this, what else do I need to do?” Her voice was cracked and broken from crying, but her tone was steady. “Thanos needed all six Stones to make this happen, how can I undo it all with just one?”

“Because you saw the data.”

Darcy looked up at the familiar voice to see Jane kneeling before her, eyes full of understanding.

“Nothing was destroyed by Thanos’ action,” Jane continued, “It was just transferred. And the energy required to make that happen is far more than the energy needed to restore things to where they belong.”

“The Soul Stone,” Doctor Strange stood from where Jane had knelt and turned to pace in front of her, tone brusque and direct, “is the one capable of taking lives in this way. But to reach the entire universe simultaneously at just a thought, that required power over space and time to reach so far so fast, power over mind and reality to make an idea into being, and energy to carry it all through.

“Now, however,” He turned back to look at her, “Everyone you wish to save is here, within the Soul Stone. Since the Soul Stone exists beyond space and time, these become irrelevant. While there may be an obvious assumption that destruction should take less energy than creation, the fact is that the Soul Stone neither destroys nor creates but transforms and transposes. Which means in practice, the power required to remove so many lives from the universe is much higher than to simply release them back to where they belong, so power is unnecessary. And without the need to direct so many things at once, the Mind Stone is not required to provide the conduit to shape thought into action.”

“And reality?” Darcy asked.

“Well,” he conceded, “A touch of reality is required to put things back as they should be, but even an echo of the Reality Stone’s power will be enough.”

Darcy shook her head at him, “And how am I meant to get that?”

“The touch of an Infinity Stone leaves a mark, long after the Stone itself may be gone,” He answered, but it was Jane who smiled and stepped towards her.

“And, if you remember,” She said with a shrug, “There’s someone already here who held reality and lived to tell about it.”

Darcy met her best friend’s gaze for a moment and then closed her eyes and dropped her head.

“So that’s it?” She asked quietly, “I could save everyone with just a thought.”

“That’s it.” The green woman answered solemnly.

Darcy looked up and met her eyes, “Would you have done it? Could you have paid this price?”

The woman flicked her hand and an ornate silver knife with a ruby inlay appeared in her hand.

“I tried to go for the other option, myself,” The woman admitted, “I’d have rather died myself than let him use me for this.”

The knife dropped from her fingers to land before Darcy.

“But he took that possibility away from me, too.” The woman told her and for a second, though she stayed stationary before Darcy, the woman was falling, backwards and downwards. Then it stopped and she was just standing, looking down sadly, “When every option is bad, that’s when it’s most important to make the decisions for yourself. Only you can know which choice will haunt you less.”

“No matter what you decide,” Her grown daughter stood before her again, but as she knelt she became a child, smiling at her mother with trust and awe, “I hope I could be as brave as you.”

Darcy pulled the child gently into her arms, drawing her in to lie curled in her lap. She brushed the hair back from her forehead and tried to find the words for what she felt. She knew they were out there. Beautiful words that could hold a heart together or make it break apart. She wished she’d read more poetry or listened to more love songs because in that moment the only one she could remember was too simple, too true to be right. But she sang it quietly anyway.

“I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always.  
As long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be.”

Darcy blinked the tears from her eyes as she gently rocked the trusting child to sleep and reached for the knife that Gamora had dropped.

“I’ll love you forever”

The throat. It was small, and vulnerable. She couldn’t miss and cause additional pain if she aimed there.

“I’ll like you for always”

She lined up the blade, blinking back tears to be sure she wouldn’t miss.

“As long as I’m living”

She jerked her wrist and blood sprayed. She let the tears fall and silence reign as she wrapped her arms around the child and sobbed.

 

The sobs shuddered through her and Darcy shook with the grief and pain. Her right arm was curled around her stomach, her left fist extended in front of her.

“That’s not possible.” Came the deep voice from above her, “How did you…?”

Darcy looked up at Thanos through her tears. She remembered being afraid of him when she’d arrived here. She didn’t think she was capable of fear right now.

She drew her left arm back to herself, orange light gleaming from between her closed fingers. In answer to his question, she pulled herself up from her hunched position, a gasp escaping her lips as she yanked the knife from her own belly and dropped it to the ground.

He stared at the silver knife in shock for a moment, and then rage took over his features and he lunged for her.

Darcy knew he would kill her. There was nothing she could do to stop him. She felt a stab of sorrow for Steve and Jane, but at least they weren’t alone anymore. Hopefully they would forgive her.

But as Thanos hand dropped toward her, a blur of green and black intercepted it and pushed it aside.

Gamora looked up at Thanos as she stood before the woman sobbing on the ground.

“I won’t let you touch her.” She promised, both him and herself.

“Gamora,” He said her name with reverence, despair, “How is this possible?”

She smiled at him darkly, “She released every soul you trapped in that Stone. Including mine. All your work, undone. It took you decades to pull it off. How does it feel to know that a weak, helpless human could wash it all away in less than a day?”

He clenched his fist and the light bounced off the gap in the gauntlet where the Soul Stone had been.

“Then I suppose I will have to kill you again.” He said sadly.

Gamora dropped into a fighting stance, “You’ll have to try.”

 


	9. Then all that’s left

Steve stared at the watch in his hands. Darcy’s watch. After the third time he’d asked how long was left within a minute and a half, Thor had handed him the watch and let him count for himself.

It had been 9 minutes.

He struggled to keep his hands relaxed, not close them into fists. If he did that, he knew he’d crush the watch. The only thing holding him to Darcy.

He ignored the first shout, but when others joined in he looked up and froze.

Across the courtyard, a small cloud of dust was rising, spinning, coalescing into a shape. It solidified suddenly into a man who stumbled forward and then looked around in shock.

Around the space, more twisters formed and coalesced, a dozen people appearing out of nothing. The shouts that arose from the streets beyond their sight made it clear this wasn’t isolated to their courtyard.

“Holy shit, she did it.” Tony spoke with undiluted awe.

Steve pushed to his feet and strode the three steps to Thor.

“We need to go, now.” He said.

Thor looked around uncertainly, “I promised her fifteen minutes, Steven. I am not sure it would be wise to change that plan now.”

Steve stepped closer, “I let you have that before because it was her choice and I trust her, but she pulled it off. That means he will most definitely see her as a threat now.”

“If she did this alone,” Thor agreed, “But if she talked him into doing this himself, then our arrival could only put her more at risk. As we don’t know what happened, we must stick to the plan in place.”

“Please,” Steve begged, he didn’t care how he sounded, he’d have dropped to his knees if he thought it could help. “Thor, this is no longer within her plan. We have to go to her now.”

Natasha watched as Steve begged Thor to change his mind, but Thor was resolute. She wasn’t sure who was right this time. She doubted Thanos would have chosen to undo what he’d work so hard for, but she also couldn’t imagine a way that Darcy could have beaten him on her own.

The satellite phone in her pocket rang and she recognised the number that Clint had been calling from in Bolivia.

“Romanoff,” She answered.

“I need to speak to Steve Rogers right the fuck now,” Came a woman’s frantic voice.

Natasha hit the speaker button and held the phone out before her.

“Who is this?” She asked.

“This is Jane Foster,” Came the answer, “You need to get Steve Rogers now.”

Her voice cut through the arguments around her, and Steve and Thor both stepped toward the phone.

“Jane?” Thor asked, voice hopeful.

“I’m here,” Steve said at the same time, “What do you need?”

“Steve, thank god,” Jane’s voice shook, “You need to get to Darcy now. I hope to god you know where she is because you need to get there. Right now.”

Steve spun to the man beside him, “Thor?”

The god nodded once and reached for his hammer.

“We go now.”

 

They landed in a blaze of light, standing in a circle facing outward, ready for anything.

Instincts honed by years of diving into combat situations gave Steve plenty of time to assess the situation, even as he started moving.

Thanos was to his right, and Steve took a fleeting moment to scan the rest of the area for threats while around him the team fell into formation. With no sign of motion to the rear, and Natasha moving into position to watch their six, Steve let his focus shift to the main action.

A thousand details registered, and he focussed on or ignored them without thought. The setting sun to his left was worth noting, the glare of the light a possible distraction. The odd colour of the ground wasn’t relevant.

Thanos was already fighting. Steve noted his fighting style, speed, height, reach, the lack of precision in his motions this time; but ignore the words he said, the emotions he was giving off. The woman attacking him was thrown back, and Thanos took a step forward, but the woman rolled quickly to the side to block his path again. The question of who she might be was pushed out of the way, the fact that she stood between Thanos and the slumped form that Steve knew even at this distance was all that mattered.

Within a matter of steps, Steve had taken in everything he needed to know about the battle and decided on his course of action.

They had Thanos outnumbered and he was already off-balance. There was only so many people who could hit him at once, and others were more determined than Steve to be the first one to get to him.

And Darcy wasn’t moving.

Trusting his team to understand and to let him know if they needed his help, Steve veered to the side of the fight, dashing toward Darcy where she was curled in on herself. When he got close enough, he was relieved to see that she was moving, tiny jerking motions accompanying wracking sobs.

The blood was more concerning, though.

“Darcy,” Steve dropped to his knees beside her, his eyes taking in the blood, trying to see where it was coming from. Her shoulders were shaking with sobs and between them he could only make out fragments that he didn’t understand; _sorry_ and _killed_ again and again.

He pulled her gently into his arms, drawing her in like he could somehow hold her together if he could just get her close enough.

He looked to the woman who had protected her. She had slumped beside them, clearly injured and weary, willing to let the reinforcements take over the fight. But she was still firmly between Darcy and Thanos, braced to move at a moment’s notice if she had to.

“What happened?” He asked, desperately.

She looked at him sadly, like she knew that what she was about to say would break his heart.

“To wield the Soul Stone, she had to first pay a price,” She told him matter-of-factly, “A soul for a soul. She had to kill someone she loved.”

Steve looked down at Darcy again, taking in the blood on her hand, and her abdomen. Her words suddenly clicked together in his head and he knew.

_I killed her. I killed her. I’m so sorry._

“Oh god,” His voice shook, and he pulled her in closer, tears in his eyes. His world had ended so many times in the last day, but this…

No. He pulled Darcy fully into his arms and steeled his soul. No, this was not the end of his world. This was terrible, but she was here, she was still alive, and they could face this together. He could fall apart later. He _would_ fall apart later. But right now, she needed him to be steady, to be there to come back to.

“It’s going to be okay, sweetheart,” He tried to keep his voice steady, managing an almost calm tone as the tears fell silently down his face. He couldn’t pretend that things were okay now, but he could give her his faith that it would be, eventually. “I’m here. We’re here. We’re going to be okay.”

\--

The fight was bitter but fortunately brief. With six of them surrounding him, all with different fighting styles working together, all without any mercy left in them, they kept him off balance and distracted.

In a few quick attacks, they had him lined up for the blow that they’d planned for.

This time, Thor aimed for the arm.

Thanos screamed as his arm, with the gauntlet still attached, was severed cleanly from him.

Without the Stones, the tide turned against him easily.

He was still a challenging opponent, a powerful fighter. They took their share of hits.

But they had all seen what happened from hesitating with him. There wasn’t a single mind there questioning whether he could leave this place alive.

It was Nebula who finished it, darting in close while he was distracted by a quick succession of attacks from Natasha, she swung hard and fast.

His head and his body fell in opposite directions.

For a moment, there was silence. Each of them remained, tensed, ready for the next thing Thanos would throw at them.

When nothing came, they started to look around at each other, at the world they’d found themselves on.

“Is it over?” Rocket asked suspiciously, gun still trained on the motionless body.

“Yes,” Gamora answered, “It’s done.”

Tony turned to look at her where she sat, exhausted and injured but ready to move.

“Who the hell are you?” He asked defensively.

“Gamora,” Nebula moved forwards and offered her sister a hand to pull her to her feet.

“You’re Gamora?” Tony asked, surprised, “I thought you were dead.”

“I was,” She answered.

“But, like, really dead, not like,” Tony snapped his fingers, “pseudo-dead like everyone else.”

“Thanos killed me as the price required to get the Soul Stone. As the sacrifice, my soul was trapped within the Stone as well. When Darcy released all of the souls trapped there, she included me as well. Though,” Gamora continued, “The manner of my death meant I returned here, where the Soul Stone is, while everyone else would have returned to the same spot they vanished from.”

After a second Tony swore.

“Shit, I have to get back to Titan.”

Natasha’s eyes were on Steve and Darcy. She could see that Darcy’s shoulders were wracking with sobs, so she knew she was alive, but there was a lot of blood and Steve was gripping her like he was scared she would disappear.

Rhodey asked the question Natasha was wondering.

“How did Darcy get the Soul Stone away from Thanos on her own?”

“He practically handed it to her,” Gamora smirked but the smile dropped as she looked back at the couple on the ground behind her, “He let her touch it because he didn’t think she could pay the price it required to use it. After all, if she came alone how could she possibly kill someone she loved?”

Her words dropped among them like a landslide and Natasha closed her eyes for a moment as understanding made her heart break just a little.

“Umm,” Tony spoke up, “Is that a trick question? ‘Cause I’ve got nothing.”

“Tony,” From the tone of Thor’s voice, she knew he at least knew what had happened.

Natasha pushed forwards and dropped to her knees before Steve.

“We need to get her to a doctor, Steve,” She told him quietly, firmly, “She’s lost a lot of blood. They’ll probably need to do a c-section as soon as they can, too.”

“Oh, shit.” Tony breathed as her words struck him.

“What?” The racoon asked in confusion, “I don’t get it.”

Natasha ignored them and focussed on Steve.

“We can’t make this alright,” She told him, “But we have to make sure Darcy gets through this.”

He nodded shakily at her and rearranged Darcy in his arms so he could stand. She didn’t react, just gripped his collar with her bloody hand and continued to take shaky, sobbing breaths.

Natasha turned to Thor, “Can you take us straight to the medical wing?”

 


	10. The lost, the found

The return trip was as quick as the one out had been, and in moments they found themselves clustered together in the middle of the medical wing of the Wakandan palace.

They found Queen Ramonda in discussion with a few of the doctors, but the conversation dropped as soon as they appeared in the space.

For a moment, everyone simply stared, too shocked to react, then Steve moved, striding toward an empty gurney to lay Darcy down gently.

The sight of Darcy’s bloody abdomen kicked the doctors back into action, and soon the room was full of motion. Two people moved to Darcy, firing off quick questions about what had happened. The rest broke into groups, preparing space for more injured, arranging triage stations for the returned who would be making their way in from the battlefield, checking the rest of the Avengers for injuries.

There weren’t many. They’d gotten off lucky overall, and the few more serious injuries had hit those who would heal anyway.

Queen Ramonda, realising they weren’t in need of medical help, quickly ushered them out of the room. On the way out, Gamora ducked to the side to grab a roll of bandage, moving back to carefully wrap it around Darcy’s left hand, tying her fist closed around the Soul Stone still clutched inside.

“Don’t try to open her hand,” She told the doctors firmly, tone edged with enough fear to make them take her warning seriously, “You cannot touch what she holds.”

With that, they were all guided out, leaving Steve alone with the doctors who were pulling up images above Darcy.

Natasha felt numb as she followed the others out. It wasn’t an entirely uncommon feeling for her; she was used to pushing back all emotions to get through a mission.

This felt different, though, this was beyond her control.

Around her, discussions had already broken out about what to do next, volunteers to go to Titan to collect their missing allies, arguments about the safest thing to do with the gauntlet, arrangements for search parties to scour the battlefield for reappeared survivors, exasperation at Nebula’s refusal to put down Thanos’ head.

She’d insisted on bringing it, certain that people would not believe he was truly dead unless they could see it for themselves.

She may have had a point, Natasha conceded, but that didn’t mean she had to drag it, still dripping, through the hallways.

Natasha didn’t add her voice to any of the discussions. She didn’t know what she thought yet, she didn’t know what she felt. It had been a long, terrible day, beyond any other she’d ever seen.

And now it was over, and for the first time in… years, Natasha Romanoff didn’t know what to do.

A ringing broke through her dissociation, and Natasha realised it was coming from her own pocket – the phone that she hadn’t realised she’d carried across the universe and back.

She glanced once at the screen, though she already knew who it would be. There was only one person with the resources to know exactly when they returned. Without a word, she handed the phone off to Thor.

As he answered with a tentative “Jane?” Natasha walked away.

She made her way down the hall, the part of her brain that never rested noting the people around her, where they were going and what they were doing. But she just kept walking.

She’d had mixed feelings when she’d realised Steve was in a real relationship. On the one hand, he was happy, and less reckless, which was good. On the other hand, it was an untrained civilian who, though undoubtedly brave in the moments when she’d found herself staring at death, was also a liability. But they’d kept it secret even from her for almost a year, which meant they were taking security seriously.

But, also, they’d kept it secret for almost a year before she even realised and that just irked her.

As the years passed, though, it became clear that they were solid. Even when they spent months apart, it didn’t seem to be an issue. They made her hope.

She really hoped they would survive this.

“Natasha!”

She looked up to find Sam running towards her, trailed by Bucky and T’Challa. Distantly, she wondered where Wanda was.

Sam pulled her into a hug and then pulled back to check her over.

“Are you okay? Is everyone okay? What happened?” He asked.

She looked at him, and then around the room where others were reuniting with loved ones.

She blinked as she realised the answer to his question.

“We won,” She told him seriously, trying to make herself recognise it through the sorrow she felt for Steve and Darcy.

“You don’t sound like we won,” Bucky accused.

“You’re here,” She gestured at them, “Thanos is dead. Pretty sure that counts as winning.”

“And the cost?” T’Challa asked quietly.

Natasha shrugged but couldn’t meet their eyes, “Minimal in the grand scheme of things. Tomorrow it might even feel that way.”

“What happened?” Bucky asked quietly.

She met his gaze, not wanting to be the person with the answers this time. But she was, so she pulled herself together.

“Did Steve tell you about Darcy?” She asked.

The three men answered simultaneously. Bucky’s “Yes,” T’Challa’s “No,” and Sam’s “Who the hell is Darcy?” overlapping.

“Darcy’s the one who saved all of you,” She told them, “She got the Soul Stone away from Thanos and released everyone trapped inside.”

“Is she okay?” Bucky asked, voice tight.

“She’s alive,” She answered, “But using the Soul Stone comes at a price.”

“What kind of price?” He asked.

“She was pregnant,” She answered, and she could see in his eyes that she didn’t need to explain further.

“Steve?” He asked.

“Upstairs,” She gestured with her chin and Bucky pushed past to find his friend.

“I’m still confused,” Sam said, “Who is Darcy and what does she have to do with Steve?”

Natasha shook his head at his obtuseness, “She’s his girlfriend, Sam, they’ve been together for years. Pretty sure you were there when they met; she’s the one Clint sent to the hospital with the thumbdrive after Project Insight.”

“Pterodactyl?” Sam asked in shock, “Steve’s been dating Pterodactyl for years and didn’t tell me?”

“They didn’t tell anyone except Jane and apparently Bucky. I worked it out for myself.”

“And this Darcy,” T’Challa interrupted, not interested in these dramatics, “The Soul Stone took their child from her?”

Natasha closed her eyes, steeling herself to tell this again.

“Worse,” She told them, and then she told them why.

\--

Steve stepped out into the waiting room as the doctors had ordered him to. They had to take Darcy into surgery, they’d explained, and he would need to wait outside until it was done.

He stared at the empty waiting room for a moment, wondering why it was so empty. There were others in the medical wing, he knew, others in surgery or recovery. Where were their loved ones?

Perhaps they couldn’t bear to sit here, waiting. Perhaps they’d all gone to find things to distract them. There would be no shortage of jobs that needed to be done.

Briefly, Steve wondered if he should go find one. There would be people who needed help still, and he was always the first to put aside his own suffering to help others.

But this wasn’t something he could put aside.

He sank slowly to the floor, back against the wall by the doors, as close to Darcy as he could get right now.

The hard truth of what had happened hit him, harder even than it had when he’d realised what she’d done.

The baby.

Their child.

Gone.

Her, Darcy had said.

They hadn’t wanted to know the gender ahead of time and had never used gendered pronouns before. But Darcy had known.

Their daughter, dead. He would never meet her now.

He didn’t know how long he sat, staring at his own knees, the agony inside him too sharp even for tears. He looked up only when a warm weight settled beside him on the floor.

He met Bucky’s eyes, so familiar, so understanding, and his heart broke again.

“Bucky,” He managed to gasp out, “She… you’re… it’s all…”

“I know,” Bucky nodded, grasping Steve’s hand and holding on, “I know, Steve.”

He let Bucky pull him into his arms, clinging to his best friend like he was the only solid thing left in the universe.

Steve let the pain wash through him, the unfairness of the choice itself, the bitterness at what he’d lost, the relief at what had been saved. He held onto the friend he’d lost and found so many times already.

Finally, the tears came, a torrent of emotion too messy and complex and all-encompassing to really identify. He felt so many things. Too many things.

It felt like hours before the tears ran dry, the sobs eased. He felt… less after. Like the tears had worn away the edges of everything. He felt sapped of all energy, empty and hollow.

When he finally raised his head, he found Sam sitting across from him on the floor, watching with those endlessly compassionate eyes.

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Sam quietly spoke.

“How are you feeling?” He asked gently.

Steve had no words to answer that. There were no words to express the _everything_ he was feeling, even with the slight chasm that had opened between him and the maelstrom of emotions. It was still there, if a little distanced, it was still huge and unfathomable and consuming.

Instead he shook his head and shrugged, and Sam simply nodded like he knew exactly what that meant.

Sam watched him a moment longer and then took a sharp breath.

“I have to ask you something,” He frowned at Steve, eyes gentle but guarded, “And it’s probably going to hurt like hell, but I think it needs to be asked. And I think it needs to be asked now.”

Steve tensed, not knowing what to expect. He didn’t want questions now. He didn’t want to think about any of this. He wanted it all to just be _not true_.

But he trusted Sam. With this, he trusted Sam more than he trusted himself.

“What?” He croaked out uneasily.

Sam gave him one last assessing look before he asked, “Do you blame her?”

Steve froze completely, unable to even breathe as the question shot straight through him.

“Don’t be stupid,” Bucky clutched Steve’s hand, jumping in to defend him immediately, “Of course, he doesn’t blame her.”

Sam didn’t acknowledge Bucky’s interjection, keeping his gaze on Steve.

“I’m sorry,” He said, eyes full of grief and regret, “But you need to know the answer to that. You need to know before she wakes up and asks you that herself.”

Steve closed his eyes as that image drifted through his head. She would wonder. She would ask. And Sam was right, Steve couldn’t have any doubt when he answered her.

He took a moment to assess his own feelings, trying to pick carefully at the edges of the maelstrom without letting it overwhelm him again. It hurt, certainly. The fact that she’d had to make a choice at all hurt so, _so_ much.

But did he blame her for the choice she’d made?

“What the hell are you playing at?” Bucky shifted threateningly at Steve’s side, “He isn’t going to blame her for something like this. He doesn’t need –”

“No,” Steve interrupted, opening his eyes and meeting Sam’s gaze, “I don’t blame her. It was the right choice. I know it was the right choice. You’re both here because – because she was strong enough to make the – the right choice.”

He broke off again as his breathing got shallower. Beside him, Bucky had stilled, realising that there was more going on here than he understood.

“There’s _knowing_ it,” Sam acknowledged, “And _feeling_ it. And if you feel angry at her, or disappointed in the choice she made, then we need to deal with that before it becomes a problem.”

“I don’t –” Steve broke off, searching for the words, not understanding it well enough himself to express it to someone else, “I’m glad you’re alive. I’m glad everyone is. Seeing you both here…”

He lost the words again, but Sam picked it up for him.

“You can feel both.” Sam told him, “You can be infinitely happy to see us alive, and infinitely sad at what that cost. You can be angry, you can be empty, you can be disappointed. You can hate us for being alive when your baby isn’t and still be grateful that we’re back. And that’s okay, because we can take it.”

He waited a pause, letting Steve process his words.

“But she might not be able to,” Sam continued, “So, you need to know, right now, exactly how you feel about what she did. Because if _any_ part of you hates her for this, you need to know.”

Steve dropped his head back against the wall behind him, staring up at the ceiling as tears slowly welled once more.

“I don’t hate her.” He whispered, unable to meet their eyes, “I don’t blame her. I feel…”

He swallowed, guilt already eating at him and he hadn’t even managed to say the words.

“I feel relief,” He admitted, closing his eyes against the understanding looks he knew they’d be giving him. He forced himself to continue, struggling over the words, the emotions. “I feel grateful. I’m… I’m _glad_ that it was her instead of me. Because she made the right choice, and I – I don’t know that I would have been strong enough.”

He took a moment, letting that truth settle over him. It disgusted him, that he would think that way, that he could be glad that she was the one to face this and not him. He should be stronger than that, better.

But he wasn’t.

“I don’t blame her.” He said again, and his voice broke with the pain of the whole situation, “I’m in awe of her.”

 His words settled around them, and Steve knew Sam was waiting in case he had anything more to say.

He didn’t. He’d managed all the words he could.

“Okay,” Sam reached out, taking his hand and nodded at him with understanding and support, “That’s okay. I know you think it’s not, and there’s definitely more to talk about there, but it doesn’t need to be now. As long as you can walk in there and tell her that you forgive her, then everything else can wait.”

And that’s what they did. They waited. Sitting together, on the floor of a room full of empty chairs, they waited.

And Steve felt a little less lost, a little less alone.


	11. The healing scars

Darcy woke up slowly, and sadly. Dread drifted with her into consciousness, before she even remembered the reason why.

The reason came back to her in an instant, and agonising grief swept through her.

She blinked her eyes open, desperate to get out of her own head in any way possible.

She found herself lying in some kind of hospital room, with monitors around her. She vaguely remembered arriving back on Earth. She remembered screaming and crying, she remembered trying to reach for Steve even as the motion sent sharp pain shooting through her.

She shut down the memories.

She didn’t want to remember.

Instead, she focussed on the figure beside her.

Steve was sleeping, hunched over in the chair by her bed. His head was resting on their joined hands.

She didn’t want to wake him. She didn’t know what she would say to him when he woke. She didn’t know if there were words in the universe that could possibly encompass all the things she wanted to say, all the things she never wanted to say.

She feared what he might have to say.

Against her will, her right fingers twitched in his grasp and he sat up, as suddenly alert as any call to assemble could make him.

“Darcy,” He leaned forward, reaching out with his free hand to brush the hair from her face, still clinging to her right hand with his.

Tears welled in Darcy’s eyes immediately.

“I’m sorry,” She whispered, gripping his hand with all her strength, like she could keep him from leaving if she just refused to let go, “I’m so sorry.”

“No, no, hey.” He moved closer, balancing on the edge of the chair to lean right into her space, “It’s okay. You don’t have to apologise. It’s okay.”

Darcy’s heart clenched at his words.

“Don’t lie to me,” She closed her eyes, unable to look at the care he was trying so hard to send her way. She knew it couldn’t be true. “I know it’s not okay. It will never be okay.”

“Darcy,” She felt his fingers brush along her jaw and heard him sigh. A moment later, the bed shifted beneath her as he climbed in carefully beside her and pulled her into his arms.

“You’re right,” He whispered, voice breaking with the emotions she understood too well, “It’s not okay. It’s… It’s unbearable how not okay it is. But it’s not your fault. I don’t blame you. I love you. I love that you put the good of others ahead of yourself. You are the strongest, bravest person I know. It was an impossible choice, a horrific choice, and what you did… You made the right choice. I know that. I believe that. And I will never _ever_ blame you for that.”

Darcy felt something loosen inside her at his words, at the utter conviction in them, and she turned into his grasp, letting the tears flow free as she thought about all the could-have-beens.

“Jane’s on her way here now,” He spoke into her hair, and she could hear the grief and tears in his own voice, “Bucky and Sam are hovering outside. Clint gets to go back to all his kids. Tony and Shuri and Bruce are trying to see if they can put Vision back together again, and if they can’t Wanda’s already decided that she’ll destroy the Mind Stone so no one can ever try this again.

“I could keep going,” He told her, “You saved so _many_ people, Darce, more than we can even comprehend. And, yeah, right now, neither of us is okay. But we will be. I promise you, someday, it will be okay again. We can face anything together, remember?”

She nodded against his shoulder, desperate to believe him. She wasn’t sure, right now, how it could possibly be true, but she _needed_ it to be.

They stayed there for a while, simply holding on to each other. Steve murmured his love and forgiveness periodically, Darcy gasped out bits and pieces of what she’d seen.

Darcy felt herself starting to doze again in Steve’s arms when the door opened. She tensed instinctively, but Steve simply rubbed slow, easy circles into her back; signalling that it was okay, that he knew who had entered.

Easing herself carefully over onto her back, Darcy looked over at the door to see an unfamiliar woman walking towards her.

“Miss Lewis,” The woman came directly over to the bed, focussed entirely on Darcy as she held out her hand in introduction, “My name is Doctor Aneka. I am sorry to intrude, but there are some tests we should run now that you are awake.”

“Right,” Darcy nodded, not wanting to know what the doctor might say, but not wanting to wait in suspense either, “Okay.”

Steve carefully extracted himself from the bed, keeping a grip on her hand as the doctor moved forward to activate something on the side of the bed. A hologram appeared above Darcy, and she could watch as the doctor inspected certain areas. There were several questions about pain, about family history, about medications.

“Well,” Doctor Aneka moved her hand out of Darcy’s sight and the hologram disappeared again, “That all looks as we would expect. Unfortunately, it will not be a quick recovery. The cut severed some of the muscles in your abdominals, and though we have reconnected everything it will be tender for a while. There is also a risk that straining the muscles for the next few days could cause some separation again.

“As for scarring,” The doctor continued, “There is likely to be some minor scarring externally, and possibly some internal scarring as well. Until the swelling goes down some more and the healing settles, we won’t be able to confirm whether there could be uterine scarring which might affect fertility. I’m optimistic that you’ll be able to conceive again should you choose, but there may be some complications. You may need to consult with a fertility specialist.”

“Oh,” Darcy looked down at the sheets on her lap, unable to meet Steve’s eye.

She wasn’t sure if that was something she wanted anymore. She couldn’t imagine having to go through something like this again.

But she couldn’t imagine going back to any kind of normal life right now.

The doctor moved over to the side of the room and typed something into a screen. A moment later, a section of the wall slid open revealing a small wooden box.

Doctor Aneka carried the box back across the room, holding it carefully.

It was beautiful. Intricate carvings covered the outside in swirls and curlicues. As she stared at it, Darcy picked out shapes of animals and trees among the patterns.

“I don’t know what your customs are,” Doctor Aneka spoke gently, and she pulled at one side of the box, causing the top to slide back. Inside, a sleek metal case with lights glowing along the edges nestled on a velvet lining. “We didn’t want to presume whether you prefer burial, cremation, something else. This will preserve her remains until you can arrange a proper farewell.”

She slid the wooden box closed again, placing it on the table beside Darcy.

“If you would like any help making arrangements, please, simply ask.” She rested her hand gently on Darcy’s for a moment, then on Steve’s, “You have all the condolences Wakanda can offer, and all it’s gratitude.”

Clearly understanding that this was something they needed space to take in, the doctor turned without another word and left them in peace.

Darcy glanced up to find Steve staring at the box, tears in his eyes. She untangled her fingers from his so that she could reach out and pull the box into her lap.

Her fingers traced the delicate patterns in the wood, picking out a deer here, a lion there. She caught the tremble in Steve’s hand as he laid it gently on top of the box.

“I –” Steve’s voice came out thick with tears and he cleared his throat before trying again. “I hadn’t thought about a funeral. What do you want to do?”

Darcy stared at the box in her hands, considering his question. It was such a small thing. How could it possibly contain all of the possibilities that their child was meant to have?

“I want to name her.” Darcy answered with certainty.

Beside her, Steve inhaled sharply, followed by a shaky exhale.

“Yes,” He whispered, and she looked up to meet his eyes, swimming with tears. “Yes, we should name her.”

“I – I don’t want to name her after anyone.” Darcy sniffed, but she knew there would be no holding back the tears for this. “She’s never going to get a chance to make a name like that her own. I want to give her a name that doesn’t come with any extra weight for us.”

She slid her left hand, still bound into a fist by bandages, up to rest on top of Steve’s hand where it lay on the box that held their daughter.

For a fraction of a second, Darcy felt the world drop away from her, in its place that burnt orange sky, the couch, the woman their daughter could have been.

In a moment, it was gone. She was back in her hospital bed, gasping for breath, staring at the box and the pair of hands on top of it.

Steve was gasping beside her as well.

“Was that?” He asked, staring at her in equal parts awe and agony.

“You saw that?” She asked, as shocked by this as he was, “You saw her?”

He nodded, tears running freely now. His voice broke as he answered, “She – she was so tall.”

Darcy let out a tiny heartbroken laugh. She clenched the Stone still in her fist, unsure if she wanted to see it again or never wanted to see it again.

“Amelia,” Steve suggested, and Darcy looked up to find him watching her with some fierce pride in his eyes.

“Amelia...” She sounded it out, considering, “Does it mean something?”

Steve shrugged, “I don’t know. I just like the way it sounds.”

Darcy sounded it out again herself, _Amelia_ , and nodded. “I do, too. Amelia Rogers.”

“What about Lewis?” Steve asked quietly.

 Darcy frowned in thought, trying to find the words to explain why this was right. “I want her to have your name. You’re a part of her, too. I… I got to have more of her while she was here, but she’s your daughter, too. She can have Lewis as a middle name, but I think she should be a Rogers.”

Steve nodded, breath shaky from tears, “Amelia Lewis Rogers.”

“Amelia Lewis Rogers.” Darcy agreed. She felt the heavy weight of tears rising in her throat. She let out a small gasping sob. “She deserved better.”

Steve shifted forward to lean into her, he was shaking with his own sobs now, and couldn’t find any words to ease this pain. For her or for him.

Without words, they simply clung to each other and to their broken dream.


	12. After it all falls apart

They lingered in the quiet periphery of the chaotic aftermath.

Their world had fallen apart in a few days and a fraction of a second.

Around them, a million other stories started. The neighbours checking in on each other, the strangers offering help and support, the plans for change, for rebuilding, for making things better.

Because the aftermath is where stories really start.

But they left the aftermath to others this time, kept themselves apart as the world found ways to heal.

The wound they needed to heal was different, it needed a different kind of treatment.

Darcy found herself disconcertingly famous among the Wakandans. While the majority of the people on the planet and, she assumed in the universe, didn’t know what had saved them, here the word had spread quickly. She was honoured as a warrior, a hero. They offered her care and protection. They filled her room with flowers, brought her every food, every comfort, every distraction.

She didn’t know how to process any of it.

Steve barely left her side, and when he had to he made sure she wasn’t alone. The first time she woke without him, she found Natasha sitting in the chair by her hospital bed, flipping though some magazine.

Before Darcy had a chance to think about the things that had brought her here, before she could panic about where Steve was and whether he would be coming back, Natasha spoke, eyes on her magazine.

“I’m surprised Steve was willing to have a baby without getting married,” She said calmly, easily, just two friends talking about regular things. “I thought that would have been important to him.”

Darcy let her mind follow the question back into simpler times, happier discussions, “Yeah, but he understands why it’s not feasible. We kept everything secret for a reason. We couldn’t leave that kind of record lying around for governments to find. And using fake names or something… how would that be any more real than the promises that we’ve already made each other.”

Natasha looked up and raised an eyebrow at her, “You realise the secret’s out now, right? Those reasons are gone.”

Darcy blinked, thinking about it for the first time. Hundreds of people now knew she was Captain America’s girlfriend. Her whole life was going to change.

And she couldn’t come up with any new reasons to put off Steve’s desire to get married.

She groaned loudly, “I don’t want to have to plan a wedding!”

Natasha grinned at her, “You don’t have an issue with the marriage part, just the wedding?”

Darcy rolled her eyes, “Marriage wouldn’t really be any different than what we have now. I like what we have now, so why would I let that change anything. Weddings are a ridiculously expensive waste of time.”

“But you’d do it for Steve?” Natasha asked.

“Of course, I would.” Darcy sighed, then turned to shoot a glare at Natasha as a sudden thought occurred to her, “But no giving him ideas. I have no problem with him not thinking about it for years.”

“We both know he’ll come to it on his own soon enough,” Natasha smirked, then looked back at her magazine, “And whenever that is, I’ll be ready.”

Darcy glanced down at the magazine and noticed for the first time the white puffy dress gracing the front cover.

She groaned again, pulling the covers over her head. “Don’t make me wear something like that!”

 

Other visitors came and went while Darcy stayed in the hospital wing.

Gamora presented her with a small spherical device which she promised could hold and contain the Soul Stone so it wouldn’t hurt anyone else.

She also offered to take the Stone back to the place where it had been hidden and protected for millennia.

Darcy wasn’t sure if she wanted that. She hated the thing that had taken so much from her. She feared what it was capable of, what might happen if she kept it. She worried about what might happen if she trusted someone else to protect it. And the idea of letting go of this thing that still, somehow, held an echo of her daughter… that just plain hurt.

Tony brought her an alternative. He and Stephen Strange had used pieces of the gauntlet to make a new amulet to contain the Time Stone, and he’d taken the time to make a subtler version for her, should she want it. It looked like an oversized locket, but otherwise wasn’t outwardly remarkable. But he promised it could contain the Stone, and even mask its energy from people like Darcy who might scan for it from afar.

She wasn’t sure what she wanted.

She set aside the decision for another time, focussing instead on healing, physically and emotionally. There were continuous check-ups, physical therapy, actual therapy. After a few days, she was given the all clear by the doctors and was moved out of the hospital wing and into one of the guest suites with Steve.

Apparently, he’d had the room the whole time but had chosen instead to sleep in her less comfortable hospital room.

The shift was disconcerting. She’d grown to hate the hospital room, but it had afforded her some space, some isolation that she’d welcomed.

The guest rooms were surrounded by other guest rooms, all in use by people whose homes were inaccessible for one reason or another. They met her in the hallways, approached her when she went in search of food.

The fame she’d achieved overnight was put in a whole new perspective without the insulation of the medical system. She wasn’t sure she liked it.

When the reminder appeared on her phone that she had an appointment with Dr Kim the next day, Darcy decided, in and instant, that she wanted to go.

They’d built a safe house there, close to the only doctor they really trusted with their pregnancy, and it was meant to be finished now, ready for them to move in before the baby came.

It would be safe, and quiet, and away from this odd fame that she didn’t know how to deal with.

And Dr Kim had told her, from the first day, that even if her pregnancy didn’t make it to term, the information could save other lives, other pregnancies.

If there was any other good that could be squeezed out of this terrible thing, Darcy would reach for it.

Steve took no convincing.

Jane understood but was torn on whether to join them or go back to work. There was so much for her to be working on. Eventually, she agreed to let them go alone now, knowing that she could visit anytime.

Unsure what the protocol was for leaving Wakanda, Darcy went to Shuri as the Wakandan she knew the best. The princess has simply said she’d take care of it.

Hours later, the king himself had come to her door, carrying a letter signed by the Canadian Prime Minister promising permanent residence in Canada. He also offered her a Wakandan passport with her name on it.

“You’ve been running from your own government for some time,” He told her, “You know better than most how quickly one can lose their home, their stability. This is a promise that you will always have another home, should you need it.”

They left without fanfare. They requested that. The news of their departure would spread after they were already gone.

It hurt to tell Dr Kim what had happened. Darcy hadn’t had to explain in words what she’d done before that point. Everyone had already known by the time she woke up.

But this woman had been with them through the excitement, the planning, the worry. She was almost as invested in their child as they were.

Dr Kim didn’t try to hide her grief behind professionalism. She cried. She let them cry.

And she revealed that hers was one of the lives Darcy had saved with this act.

She accepted the box that still preserved Amelia with the utmost respect, promising that she would complete the tests that she needed to do quickly and carefully, and would destroy any biological material once she no longer needed it. She thanked them for allowing the tests, certain that the information could save others.

With the emotional parts out of the way, they moved to a physical check. Dr Kim advised that the care the Wakandans had given was excellent and that they had every reason to think they could get pregnant again, should they choose to.

They’d already agreed, this was not the time to choose. That was a decision that should wait until the grief was less devouring, the loss less raw.

During the three days it took for Dr Kim to complete her tests, Darcy and Steve set up the home they’d built for the family they’d imagined. They talked, they cried. They made plans for the future, a future that was so different now, but would still hold beauty and wonder and joy. They found themselves again in the rubble left of their hearts.

When Dr Kim returned the wooden box with its precious cargo to them, they boarded the quinjet once more.

They knew where they wanted to lay her to rest.

There was a small island, off the coast of Chile, where they’d started this dream. A place no one knew mattered to them, a place no one would look for the baby of Captain America, a place where she could stay, safe from the greed of those who craved the serum.

They buried her at sunset. The grave would be unmarked, but her name was on the box she lay within. A name that they would never forget.

They said their goodbyes together, and, together, they left the might-have-been behind to find a new future.

 

There is a story that ends here.

 

But some stories never really end at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... that's it.
> 
> I honestly don't know how I feel about this story right now. I feel a lot of things. I'm also not remotely sure I conveyed the ideas in my head well enough. I'm slightly worried about how it might read in everyone else's head.
> 
> Thanks for reading, despite all my warnings telling you not to.


End file.
